I have finally decided that I have exhausted all options and have run out of women to date/marry/mother a child for me in the metropolitan area in and around Houston, TX. Though it is (arguably) the fourth largest city in America and has potentially (kinetically) millions of women, I have met all of them, and they all hate me. Granted, the Jewish population is considerably less populous. However, I have broadened my options because I am in survival mode.

Because of this horrible realization, I am officially holding the first official (this is not official) Operation: Procreation. Of course, the goal here is not to procreate per se, it just sounded like a funny title. If you read this, and that’s a bit of a stretch, let me know by sending a message to me (member name: JeremySpoke). Let me know if you would be willing to come visit Houston to see me/pay for my flight to your city. This does not exclude international participants. However, the logistics are inherently more difficult and an international plane ticket is obviously more money. If, however, you are normal and would never fly across the country to see someone based on a joke blog post, just say, “Hi”. I love getting messages, in any format. I never cancel spam or take myself off of mailing lists I don’t belong to anymore just because I love getting messages. You can send me a message that just reads, “I hate you.” On second thought, please do not send me a message that says, “I hate you.”

If you can not message me because you are not a member of JDate, it shouldn’t be too difficult to reach me. I am one of only three ‘Jeremy Balkin’s in the world. One is a young man in Australia, and the other is a movie producer in Los Angeles. Sending a message to any one of us should be sufficient.