Oh, the age old question of who pays on a date. If we’re going back to the “olden days,” it would have been said that the man pays no matter what. However, it’s 2016, so I think things are pretty different these days. So, let’s break it down. Who should pay on a date? Here’s how to handle it in a variety of situations.
The First Date
When it comes to the first date, I think the way to go about this is to let the person who initiates the date be the one to pay. So, if Jake asks Lisa on a date, Jake pays. If Lisa asks Jake, Lisa pays. It’s the first date, and if it wasn’t for someone making a move, the date wouldn’t even be happening. So I think it only makes sense that whoever does the asking also does the paying.
Now, when it comes to the second, third and fourth dates (and hopefully many more after that), I don’t think there should be a set rule. I think it’s nice to switch off who pays, and it’s nice to split from time to time. However, when you’re still in the “courting” phase, the person doing the “courting” typically will be the one doing the paying as well, at least for the time being.
Offering To Pay
No matter who “should” be paying, you should always, always offer to pay. Even if you know for a fact that the other person is going to end up paying, it’s always nice to offer. And make it a genuine offer. Every single date I ever went on, I offered. Typically, the guy didn’t let me pay unless we had been dating for a while. Sometimes, he’d let me treat him, but I always offered. It’s the right thing to do.
The Deal Breaker
I know some girls might say if the guy doesn’t offer to pay and treat the girl on the date, then it’s a deal breaker for them. I don’t necessarily agree. Like I said, it’s 2016, and the rules have changed when it comes to dating. Yes, it’s nice if you’re treated and taken out, but before you end things, take a breath and think about it. If the guy is the ideal guy aside from him paying every time, it’s really not the end of the world. Am I right?
There is a caveat here. Let’s say Jake recommends to Lisa that they go to one of the fanciest places in town (i.e. also one of the most expensive). In that case, Jake should absolutely pay. It’s not fair to the other person to make them pay or split when it wasn’t their idea in the first place, especially when going somewhere on the pricier side.
Dating should be fun, so you don’t want to mess it up by stressing over the paying component of it. If it’s awkward when the check comes, you can laugh about it and even make a joke of it, which usually lightens the mood. It shouldn’t be so serious, but it should be so fun.
You may also be interested in 13 Unique Date Ideas To Spice Up Your Love Life