My coworker started chatting with a man on JDate one afternoon during our lunch break, and now he is her husband.  A close friend of mine is in a serious relationship with the first member who emailed her after she posted an online profile.  And I bumped into a sorority sister at a mutual friend’s party who told me that she met her husband on JDate.  My JDate story doesn’t have one of those endings yet.

I’ve been online dating on and off for the last several years.   Although I’ve met some nice and attractive men, there hasn’t been one with whom I felt a soul mate type connection.  Since my subscription hasn’t led me to the altar (or given my mother the grandchildren she asks me for monthly), I’ve had to learn how to start finding joy in the process of online dating and value it as life experience.

How did I gain this wisdom while still young enough to list my real age on my profile?   I wish I could say that it’s just my Zen nature, but the truth is that I can be skeptical and impatient.  These are two personality traits that can sometimes make reading through a gallery of profiles and agreeing to meet a stranger for coffee a challenge (even though I know it’s for my greater good). 

Luckily I have supportive friends who repeatedly show me how online dating can be a lot of fun, funny and even fundamental for my growth.   The strengthening of my friendships has really been a surprise added bonus of joining JDate.  I credit JDate for reminding me how fortunate I am to have such strong relationships in my life — which will help me to be that much better of a life partner for my match.

New members often stress about creating a profile, but a couple friends and I made it a relaxing Sunday afternoon activity.  We toasted our dating futures with a glass of wine and then helped one another to craft witty responses to the JDate questionnaire.  It was sort of a profile party.

Another friend of mine enjoys photography.  She knew I was fussy about pictures of myself, but she insisted on snapping photos until I found one that I liked enough to post.  I really appreciated both her time and her desire to help me feel confident and showcase myself in the best light (literally).

I am also grateful for the moral support  I receive after the great (and the not so great) first dates.  Just like a post-game show on ESPN, my team of gal pals is willing to analyze the play-by-play of my meetings.  A pep talk with them helps me to keep perspective and laugh at some of the hilariously awkward moments when a date doesn’t go as well as I’d hoped.  And there is nothing better than having people to share in my excitement after a date at which I felt sparks.

In addition to positively impacting my existing friendships, JDate has also helped bring other special people into my world.  One of my friends met a great guy on the site. They didn’t have chemistry, but she introduced him to the rest of us.  I gained a new friend, and my new friend ended up marrying one of my other friends.   But none of this would have happened if we hadn’t all branched out on JDate.

I’ve also had the opportunity to bond with many couples as well as other singles at temple, dinner parties and even work events eager to share their anecdotes and tips — JDate has really become the ultimate ice breaker.  Everyone seems to know of a success story or has their own to tell.

My friends are part of the reason why I still have faith that I could become a JDate success story, and I can’t wait to introduce them to my match.

  1. Hi, I really loved this piece. You gals sound like the Jewish answer to carrie, charlotte, miranda & samantha :-). There’s a good vibe in everything you’ve described. Something good that’s bound to bring along other good things. Don’t forget to write about those as well.

  2. I also really enjoyed this piece. Especially the part about online dating having value as an experience in and of itself. Thanks for the good read.

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