Hey Rachel,

This might sound like a strange question, however, I think I met my dream girl on JDate… but she suddenly stopped responding to me, and we didn’t exchange numbers, so what do I do? She lives very close to me and she suggested we meet up coffee. I really liked the idea and asked her when, but she didn’t respond. I have tried following up with 2-3 messages, but still no response. I’m not sure what to do. Obviously, I need to give it a break for a while, but for how long? I want to send her one more message, but am not sure what to say. Our messages were great and I felt like we were getting on really well, but then she went cold and stopped replying? Maybe she met someone else?

Either way, I am sure I can’t be the first single guy to be in this situation. She seems like a really kind, intelligent, friendly, lovely girl (which are very hard to meet these days, especially where I live), so I don’t want to give up on her, but I also don’t want to come across too strong or desperate (because I am not). Any advice that you can provide here would be most appreciated.

Kind Regards,

Confused Jewish Male


Dear Confused Jewish Male,

This is a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl chat. Either girl or boy suddenly disappears.

It happens more than we’d like. My best advice is to not take it personally – because it probably wasn’t personal. You don’t even know each other! She may have gone on a date with someone else and they hit it off. Maybe she got back together with her ex. Maybe she decided she’s not ready to date. Maybe she’s just not that into you. Who knows!

I say, on to the next! If this woman becomes available, she’ll hit you up. It sounds like you’ve made yourself more than clear about your interest in her. In the future, one follow up message should do the trick. She may have gotten overwhelmed by your multiple messages.

Keep your head up! There are plenty of other eligible ladies on JDate.

Happy JDating,


Rachel is JDate’s Community Manager. She’s here to break down the rules of dating, share first date tips and offer words of encouragement when dating gets tough. Visit her Tumblr page for more insightful advice. Or, learn what makes Rachel tick by visiting her JDate profile!
One Comment
  1. I suggest you email her through jdate{ since you do not have her phone number or email or address}, and ask her why she is not responding to your emails. I had a similar situation and the woman answered my jdate email saying that she was widowed less than 1 year ago and is not ready to date. I am glad that I found out why she was not returning my phone calls, and a eliminated her from my lkist of possablities and quit calling her. It gave me closure which is better than not knowing.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *