Dear Gems from Jen,

I know lots of women who are either not in my age bracket (+/- 5yrs from 26 this July), or who are currently in a relationship lament that they can’t find certain types of men (that I am like) or even specifically “man like you”. Yet, I still have problems getting single women my age to be interested in me. My biggest “flaws” are smoking which I can understand the women who turn away for that, my hearing disability which I work around, and that I have a daughter which anybody who knows me can explain why that should not be held against me but rather as a credit toward me. I don’t want to have to publicly announce why it is, but at the same point I don’t hide it from anybody. A lot of women complain when men who are obviously not suited for them contact them because “he didn’t read the profile and just contact me because I’m pretty” but I feel I get automatically dismissed because nobody wants to actually know me.

To think I was told years ago I’d make a great father someday. Now I am, and my daughter couldn’t be much luckier (maybe if I had more money, but at least she’s got compassionate/understanding, loving, intelligent, persevering, and protective).

Tired of being told “I would make a great man for someone” and ready to be that man,

Joshua P. Clark

Dear Joshua,

I have to admit I found your question quite fascinating. We women are hard creatures to figure out sometimes. We ask for certain qualities and when a man presents himself with those qualities some of us run and hide. Why do we do that? I know many women who have behaved in this manner and when I have asked about this behavior I usually get a response that is based on fear. Fear of losing someone that seems almost perfect. Some women and men too for that matter would rather not have the experience at all. The fear of losing someone who seems almost too good to be true is too much for some to handle.

It sounds like you are a great catch. Any woman would be lucky to spend time with a man who is compassionate, understanding, loving, intelligent, preserving, and protective. Your daughter is very lucky to have a father who posses these great qualities. On the other hand, any woman who is not interested in you because you have a daughter is not worth your time. My suggestion would be to make it known you are a proud and loving father. Your daughter sounds like an integral part of your life and being proud of your role as a father is just as important as all of the other great qualities you have stated.

Keep up the search, she is out there, you just haven’t met her yet.

Gems from Jen