Dear GemsfromJen,
I am a 49-year-old single mom and I look much younger than my 49 years. I find myself attracted to men who are a few years younger than me (forget the 30-year-olds, tear…) but I want a solid lifelong partner now. I have an 11-year-old too…which brings me to two dilemmas. There’s no dad in the picture and I want to find a father figure. Also I still believe in “waiting” to have sex…and though I’m not religious, I want to make sure a man will cherish me (and my child) in a committed way before we have sex. In other words, I would feel very used if he didn’t show a commitment, but is it realistic to wait until marriage? Or wait ‘til at least we’re engaged? I am perfectly capable of losing myself in a sexual relationship, but this is something I do not want to give a man until he commits to me. Are there men out there who appreciate and can accept this fully and wholeheartedly?
 
 
Dear Waiting,
 
I cannot speak for men, but I have known a few who have waited. From my own experience with men my best guess is there are few out there, but remember, sex is an important component to a relationship. I completely understand your desire for a man to be fully committed to not just you, but your child before you engage in a sexual relationship.
 
My best suggestion would be to make this aspect of yourself very clear in your JDate profile. This way, you will attract men who know exactly what it is you are looking for and you will not have to weed out those who will push a sexual relationship with you before you are ready.
 
Be aware that there are no guarantees in life and although a sexual relationship can wait, it is not an absolute that waiting will ensure a relationship will either succeed or fail.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen