Dear Tamar,

I am completely baffled. I have had a series of dates recently, which I have considered successful. Good conversations and nice dinners lasting more than two hours.  I am always taken to very nice restaurants and the men seem thoroughly engaged. I get thanked for actually looking like my photo and receive compliments during the meal. Sometimes there is even a substantial kiss goodnight…then I hear nothing further. The process is becoming very tiresome because I can’t figure out where I go wrong.

I know the answer is to keep dating and the right one will come along, but I don’t understand the lack of real interest among these guys. It seems like a sport that men just like to take women out. Personally, I don’t get it. These meals are $100+ because most seem to order a bottle of wine. Why blow that much money? It just doesn’t make sense.

Dear WTF?,

Ugh, I totally remember being in your shoes and it was beyond frustrating! I can totally empathize. Unfortunately, as you said, the obvious answer is to keep dating and wait until your beshert comes along. But there are some other things you can do in the meantime… try to use this opportunity for some introspection. Look at yourself from an outsider’s perspective: What kind of vibes are you giving off? How much information are you sharing about yourself? Do you really see yourself with the men you’re on dates with? By answering those questions (and any others you think of) I believe you will find yourself having more productive and successful dates. Don’t give up. Oh, and if the guys want to drop that kind of cash on you and then not call you — it’s their loss, literally! Good luck!