Dear Tamar,

It seems that almost every time I’m IMing with a guy, it starts out nice and then the guy turns the conversation to x-rated topics. Please help, why does this always seem to happen???

Dear X-Rated IMs,

I don’t believe people will jump to X-rated conversation without some prompting. I’m not blaming this on you, but check your communication and your photos because maybe you’re sending messages that you don’t mean to. Are your photos sexy, showing a lot of skin? Is your About Me and your IMs flirtatious? Try to pull in the reigns a bit and see if that helps. And if a guy starts veering towards the inappropriate, cut him loose right away and don’t waste anymore of your time. Some guys (and girls) are just there to hook up and their X-rated come-on’s are being used to see if you’re game. Let them know that you’re not by cutting off contact.