When you think about it, the reason “most” people sign up for online personals services such as JDate is that they hope to meet that special someone. Yet, all too often I hear from both men and women, “I had this great date, or so I thought, but then I saw them trolling JDate the next day.” What is that about?!?!?It seems counterintuitive from the goal at hand.
I have a few immediate thoughts. Exclusivity does not come overnight nor should it. And yes, it does make it hard, seeing the person you felt a connection with the day after “the best first date imaginable” possibly looking for a BBD “bigger better deal” on the internet. However, that is the nature of how you met, online, so there needs to be some swallowing of pride.
As far as I’m concerned, exclusivity develops in two forms: 1) clearly communicating and agreeing on the expectations understood by both people or 2) a time develops where you just know…you spend most of your time together, you are a couple without having labeled it… You exhibit that behavior as well as operating by the golden rule – “how would I feel if…” The fact is, no matter what, there are some folks who are just addicted to online dating and the options that come along with it. And let me clarify NOTHING is wrong with options if you are honest about your intentions.