How to Find a Healthy Relationship

The beginning of a relationship is always wonderful, but what really matters is creating a healthy foundation so you can ensure your new relationship is built to last. And the basis for any relationship is compatibility. By reflecting on the different ways you and your partner are compatible, you can also ensure your relationship has a healthy start!

As the founder of Love Intelligence, the 5-key method to find love, I am going to walk you through the 5 must-have qualities you need in your relationship in order for it to be lasting and fulfilling.

     1.       Honesty

The first necessary quality to expect in a relationship is honesty. If you don’t have that, then there is no point for the relationship to continue. Without it, things will only go downhill. Being honest means that you have to become emotionally intimate with your partner and share secrets that you don’t share with anyone else. Of course, there is also a bigger question here: “How honest should I be?”

In fact, part of being honest is judging what to reveal and what not to reveal – keeping a bit of mystery alive is never a bad thing in a relationship. Of course, being honest does not mean you have carte blanche to be rude or aggressive just for the sake of telling a truth that will hurt someone. As the proverb goes: “All truths are not to be told.”

     2.       Loyalty

This quality is very much related to trust and implies being there for each other – both during the good moments in life, but also (and especially) when life puts obstacles on your path. “For better or for worse” might seem to be a big commitment, but even from the outset of a relationship, it’s a good philosophy to have in mind.

If both people are there for each other, support each other in every decision, and show tolerance, then you can be sure your relationship will be on the path to success.

     3.       Maturity

For a healthy relationship, both partners must have a relatively high level of maturity or emotional development (see step 4 of the method to find love) and need to consider not only their own point of view, but also their partner’s. It can be true that women are often more emotionally mature than men, especially at a younger age. However, what is really important is to be on the same page and to want the same thing long-term. Also, both people need to treat each other with respect, even when they disagree about something.

      4.       Shared Relationship Goals

For any relationship to grow, both partners have to agree on which direction they want it to take… and then lead it in that direction. Your goals in your personal lives have to be the same. If you want a long-term committed relationship, then you must find someone that wants the same. For example, imagine someone that wants to go and live in China to work, but the other person isn’t a big traveler and likes the comfortable life they currently have. Of course, having the same goals in life does not mean you and your partner can’t compromise on certain things – but the truth is many relationships come to an end because the two people involved can’t agree on their future together or are not ready to compromise.

     5.       Good Communication

Communication is the key to the lifespan (and quality) of a relationship. Without communication, a relationship would simply fall apart. You have the right to disagree on many things, what’s important though is that you discuss your disagreements assertively and try to find solutions. If I can give you some advice on this, never argue on different subjects at the same time. If you have to argue over something, then choose what you’re going to argue about and stick to it! This helps both partners to avoid bringing up old grudges.

If you want more advice on the subject of love, check out the 5-key method to finding love.

Florence Escaravage was born in Paris and lives there today with her husband and 3 kids, after living in the United States along the way. She founded Love Intelligence® in 2007 after spending two years consulting with an expert committee of leading psychologists, effectively professionalizing the sector by being the first (and only) love coach to create and implement an internationally recognized certification.
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