1. Yes, we like to argue, but a lot of us like peace at home after a long day of arguing at the office.
A lot of lady lawyers report little arguing at home because they’re just so tired after a day spent debating (and possibly raising voices) with opposing counsel, judges, and clients. They place a high premium on calm. This can be true even of lady lawyers who are dating or married to male lawyers!
2. Yes, we like to argue, but with our dates and boyfriends, it’s in a friendly way, not a confrontational way.
If you’re on a date with a lady lawyer, and she argues with you about a minor point (you: “I’ll have Absolut vodka;” her: “Do you really prefer that to Grey Goose?”) it’s not necessarily because she’s being bossy or because she actually wants you to switch to Grey Goose. It may just be her way of making conversation. And she may actually find it charming if you (unlike her opposing counsel) just say, “Yes, I do” and order the Absolut rather than debating the merits of Absolut versus Grey Goose with her.
3. The flip side of our tendency to argue and criticize is our ability to be sensitive and empathic.
Lawyers are trained to see all sides of a situation. Believe me, this can work for you as the boyfriend of a lawyer. It’s hard to be judgmental when you can’t help but see a situation from every angle. Did you forget it was Valentine’s Day? Your lady-lawyer girlfriend will be more likely than your average woman to view the situation logically and understand the “mitigating factors” (stuff that makes your “crime” less bad – you had a really busy week at work, you had a fight with your best friend the night before, etc.) And since many lady lawyers work long hours, they often cut their boyfriends and husbands slack for missing “personal deadlines.” This isn’t to say that a lot of us aren’t very romantic, but as a lawyer, you can’t help but develop a logical streak.
4. However, lady lawyers who work long hours at demanding jobs tend to be less forgiving when their boyfriends are casual about time or scheduling.
Show up on time for your dates. Don’t cancel them at the last minute. Don’t make a habit of canceling them, period. Lady lawyers generally don’t have the luxury of being casual about their time.
5. Relatedly: lady lawyers worry that guys view us as “Type A Hardasses” and prefer more casual, less intense women.
This leads to insecurity and can have weird, unpredictable effects. Some lady lawyers will put on a “fun” act in the early stages of dating. While it’s always good to put your best foot forward when you first meet someone, it’s never good to be fake, and attempts to feign “fun” can come across in a strange way. And this is a source of insecurity, even for lady lawyers who never feign “fun” (because they know they are actually “fun,” in their own serious way!), and who have been told by guys that being a female lawyer is hot.
In sum: dating a lady lawyer can be very rewarding, especially if you’re looking for a real relationship.