Here’s the kind of profile I steer clear of…

“Don’t lie about your height. If you have issues with your mother, I don’t want to hear from you. That means you’ll have issues with me too! Oh, and guys – I’m not your mother. I don’t need a grown kid to baby. I already had a kid.”

I feel like we’ve had our first fight, and we haven’t even met yet. When trying to sell their good side by arguing with you before laying eyes on you, something tells me I don’t want to go near their bad side.

Mutual fun managers should take a page from mutual fund managers: Past performance is no guarantee of future performance. (Okay, premature arguing does guarantee post-mature arguing.) In the case of guys or gals who previously didn’t pass your smell test, don’t think the rest of the guys or gals out there are equally culpable. Maybe we daters should take a page from the airlines and charge fees for excess baggage.

Oh. And I’m five feet eight and a half.