Dear Tamar,

I met an awesome girl on JDate about two weeks ago. After exchanging emails we finally started talking on the phone… and could barely stop! We would speak for hours on end, but we don’t have plans to meet for a few more weeks because we both have crazy schedules right now. A few days ago we both mentioned taking down our JDate profiles. Well, since that conversation things have gotten somewhat awkward. The conversations haven’t flowed as easily and they have been drastically shorter. I feel like we set ourselves up for failure by getting serious too quickly, but the connection is real and I know she feels it too. What do I do?

—Momentum Shift


Dear Momentum Shift,

Easy – make it a priority to meet RIGHT NOW. Move things around on your schedule ASAP so that you can meet and see how things are in person. There’s a reason I strongly encourage people to meet as soon as possible after matching up on JDate and that’s because connections via technology can only go so far. You can get the momentum back by meeting and making it a priority to keep meeting. Neither of you are too busy for an hour lunch date, or a thirty-minute long coffee date, or a quick dinner even… get together when you can until your schedules open up, just get together. You may find after one date that the conversation originally fizzled out for a reason, or you may not want that quick trip to the gelato shop to end. Bottom line: if you had time for a four-hour conversation, then you have time to meet up!


For solutions to any dating dilemma, submit your questions to Dear Tamar online.


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