This year as the book is sealed, only G-d knows who shall live and who shall die; who shall get married and who shall remain single; who shall get a text back, and who shall get stuck checking their phone every two minutes in anticipation of a post-date call.  In this time of prayer and reflection, remember to ask G-d for what you want in the year to come.  However, be careful what you ask for – it might come true!

Allow me to explain: sometimes after a date or after meeting someone who asks for my number, I get in the habit of checking my phone more than usual. We’ve all been there – the post-good-date obsessive cell phone checking phase.  You know, when you bring your phone to the bathroom in case it beeps during the three minutes when you’re in there, when you’re glancing at it during work meetings, when you even restart it just to make sure there aren’t any missed messages that were somehow stuck in cyberland.

It doesn’t even matter if you plan to casually wait a calculated 37 minutes to reply – it’s your text, and you want it now! And in some cases, it doesn’t even matter what the message says or implies, or even what it doesn’t say – this game is about control. You’re playing a romantic game of phone badminton and the birdie is now in your court. You can make someone sweat if he’s into you by waiting too long to reply, you can end everything right there by not responding at all, or you can play games and be crazy about it by intentionally varying your response times or sending selfies or whatever else the kids do these days. The point is that as long as someone has texted you and the ball’s in your court, you have the control.

Let me be clear (said in my best Obama impression voice): I don’t advocate deliberate game playing, nor do I think it necessarily yields a good outcome. But, I bring this up to illustrate my longwinded point: after all this phone obsession, it’s easy to forget to ask yourself: do you even LIKE this person??  Have you even considered whether you would like to see this person again? Or are you just obsessed with the idea of keeping this badminton game going? Seriously, texting can become addictive, and it’s pretty easy to have no feelings for someone, but still feel excited at the idea of him, because, heaven forbid you go through a boring day at work without having a boy to text back and forth.

If this describes you, seriously ask yourself if you’re really interested in the person at the other end of the phone, or just the rush of the phone beeps and notifications you’re getting (or awaiting) throughout the day. Because if it’s the latter, and you’re seeking a relationship, don’t waste your time, the time of the other person (who might actually be into you – it’s not fair to him or her!), or your cell battery. Focus on finding someone you actually do like spending time with in person. On Yom Kippur and the upcoming yom tovs, practice living life without your cell phone glued to your hand – you might even meet someone in person.

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