Roles and rules in the world of dating have been jumbled in recent years. We are bombarded by a pop culture of television shows, movies, books and songs depicting men and women in traditional and non-traditional positions in the workplace, family, and relationships. It can be hard to tell which of the old rules of dating still apply — and which ones even your grandparents would consider out of style.
But there is a reason earlier generations are known for chivalry, courtship and life-long marriages: dating was more about finding someone special, getting to know each other, and building a relationship based upon trust and respect. Some of the dating tips from this era still apply today. Following these timeless rules can take the game-playing out of today’s dating scene and help you find lasting love.
1. Don’t chase boys
It may seem outdated, and even unfair, that men are responsible for making the first move to initiate a relationship. But it’s simply a rule of nature, not just of old-fashioned courtship, that men want to pursue a woman and women want to be pursued. Starting a relationship the opposite manner may work in the short-term, but won’t necessarily translate into a long-term commitment.
2. Send a proper invitation
Modern technology has provided a million and one ways to contact potential dates. Resist the easy ways of communication — text, email and social networking sites to name a few — and pick up the phone. The person on the receiving end of the call will admire your bravery and directness, starting your relationship out on a good note.
3. Gentlemen should offer to pay
It is true that the majority of modern women have the ability to pay their own way on a date. But when it comes to picking up the check, it’s the thought and effort on a gentleman’s part that truly makes an impression on women. While women certainly appreciate a man treating, being gracious and relieving any awkwardness that may arrive along with the check is what women really want.
4. Remember the magic words
We all know good manners of saying “please” and “thank you” in any social situation never goes out of style — and this is particularly true on a date. Thanking your date for a good time and vocalizing that you enjoyed their company is not only polite, but being direct about your feelings early on can erase any mixed signals and show your date you’re interested.
5. Honesty is the best policy
If a relationship is not going well, it is best for all involved to be honest and upfront in ending things. It may be easy to simply “forget” to return phone calls, but pulling this kind of disappearing act is upsetting and confusing to the person on the other end. Treating the people you date with the same respect you expect for yourself is key for building a meaningful relationship, and should apply even to those you may not be interested in romantically.
Dating advice from the past is still surprisingly relevant to our lives today. When following these tried-and-true rules, dates will be impressed with your classic style and know you are a person worth an old-fashioned courtship.