Dating can be quite difficult. Sometimes it takes a few minutes to get comfortable in a dating situation. But, learning how to be at ease wherever you are will allow you to always have fun.

The number one way to feel comfortable in any situation is to always be confident. No matter where you are, people are drawn to confidence. If you walk into a date feeling like a million dollars, your date will be impressed.

You have to always have a smile on your face. Happy people attract other happy people. Think of a smile like your wallet. When you leave home, you wouldn’t forget your wallet. So, don’t go anywhere without your smile.

A sense of style is important when you are dating. You should always look your best because you never know who might run into. Your husband could be around the corner and if you are dressed like a schlub, you aren’t going to want to talk to him. The minute you walk outside your front door, you should look like a superstar.

Intelligence will go a long way. In addition to your natural beauty, your brain is an important part of you. . Both men and women are attracted to intelligent people. You should familiarize yourself with all different types of topics. Show off your knowledge. Wisdom is sexy.

The next thing to keep in mind is to be polite and well mannered. No one enjoys being around a rude person. You should always be nice to others because kindness is contagious. If you are exceptionally polite, people will always want to be around you.

To ensure that you feel comfortable in any dating situation, remember to always be positive. No one wants to be around a “Debbie Downer.” If you are optimistic and have good energy, others will notice it and be in awe of you.

Good posture is sometimes forgotten. People don’t always stand up straight and appear proud. You own your body, so let everyone know that it’s yours. Do you ever see a person with great posture and think they look very statuesque? Well if you are mindful of your posture, you can be elegant as well!

Last but not least, being funny can help you feel more comfortable. Humor is appreciated no matter where you are. People love to hear jokes. If you tell a funny joke and someone overhears it, they will want to talk to you. If you want to be comfortable in any situation, be funny. Everyone loves funny.

Carly Spindel is a writer and hopeless romantic. Carly is a world traveler who has lived in Paris and London. She resides in New York and is currently looking for Mr. Right. You can learn more about her at


  1. I agree on presentation- I cannot stand when a woman shows up on a date in the summer wearing a Tshirt that she just purchased from Target.

  2. This was such an uninteresting laundry list of great qualities. If everyone was able to just turn on these great qualities at will there really wouldn’t be any difficulties in dating. I agree one can make their best effort but unrealistic that people can just turn on charisma, sense of humor, good looks,intelligence, fashion sense, etc. Confused by this simplistic article.

  3. Confused too. I think I have the qualities and I am doing exactly what the article says but no luck. If finding a great man were so simple, Carly would have already found her Mr. Right.

  4. Seriously?
    “everybody loves humour” “intelligence attracts both men and women”
    Well thanks! I’d never heard that before. I’m going to go read up on a whole lot of things to make myself appear intelligent, also, I’m going to put on a smile whenever I put my wallet in my handbag. Did I get it right?

    I’m sure that when I’m trying to be funnier, prettier, more intelligent and maintain better posture, I’ll feel far more confident than when I follow the old adage of “just be yourself”.

  5. I agree with you Carly to an extent, but you know talking about many topics can comeback and bite you in the tuchas… Example if you have different views regarding politics and it will come up sooner or later; humor, intelligence, posture or appearance will not help you… Also, curious what age you based your research on? Cause girls between 21-25 are not the same girls from the 90s. Now you got texting, facebook and Jersey Shore which makes it extra hard to tolerate a girl especially on a first date… I think going back to traditional beliefs and respecting the person you talk to like a neighbor and not a stranger you met from the internet is the most important thing. Do people on JDate do that, hmm I think you know the answer to that.

  6. SO true,for women your smile is your “calling card”.Dating is very diffucult, there are 2 MM more single women in the tri-state area then men. So LADIES it is a very competitive world out there and you should put your best foot forward if you want to get somewhere in the dating arena. Timing in life is everything and it does just take “one” so don’t give up just hang in there.

  7. Eugene wrote: “talking about many topics can comeback and bite you in the tuchas… Example if you have different views regarding politics and it will come up sooner or later; humor, intelligence, posture or appearance will not help you.” I want to respond to that, Eugene, by saying that if you have very different views on politics, it’s a GOOD thing if it comes out early so you can find out whether this difference makes a difference. If it does, you don’t want to waste your time on a second date. On the other hand, if you think you can learn to live with the difference of opinion, it’s a good idea to start working out your system for living with it right away.

    Hiding important parts of your self is self-defeating. That doesn’t mean you should over-share. But, personally, if I had a huge political difference with a man, I’d want to know it BEFORE the first date so I don’t even waste time on that first one.

  8. *paraphrasing*
    “Study a wide range of topics so you can be intelligent, which is sexy.”
    “Feel like a million bucks.”
    “Look like a superstar at all times.”
    “Always appear your best, because if you don’t you won’t have enough self-confidence in order to speak with your potential husband.”

    This is all wrong!!!!!!

    Sheesh muffins.

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