Dear Matchmaker Rabbi:

I have been divorced since 2001. After raising a son and working fulltime, I am ready to meet someone for marriage. I have dated, but to be honest, the men I have met either via JDate or otherwise just do not present themselves well. I would like to meet someone Jewish, but am beginning to wonder if it is possible in my age range.

I belong to a synagogue, but have not met any eligible men through that source. Any ideas? Or am I to sit in a rocking chair alone in old age?



Dear Frustrated,

Good news: you don’t need an army. You just need that ONE right guy. Try opening up your search parameters on JDate to see if you pull in some more catches! There is no harm in broadening your parameters — both in your searches and in whom your profile says you are looking for on JDate. Your Beshert may be just one or two years outside of your search parameters!

Also, try social groups in your area that connect people — groups like, that aren’t just for singles per se, but that connect people in the same geographic area who share similar interests. If you like synagogue services, try shul shopping! You can be a member at your home congregation, and go to services or social events at other congregations. Maybe your beloved is at the temple next door!

For some people, finding a life partner is like taking on a full-time job. I know it was for me. If marriage is what you really want, start looking with the same focus, dedication and creativity that you would any other job.

He’s out there. You can do it!

The Matchmaker Rabbi

To ask the Matchmaker Rabbi a question, email her at

Joysa Winter, aka The Matchmaker Rabbi is finishing a book on her 15 years of dating misadventures called “Chasing Cupid: Tales of Dating Disaster in Jewish Suburbia.” Need help writing your profile, or dating advice tailored to you? Email to learn more about pricing and services. You can also read Joysa’s blog on Jewish and interfaith weddings, as well as other progressive Jewish topics, at
  1. Ms. Frustrated, Joysa is spot on. Say there are 2.5 million Jewish men in the USA, and say 10% are in your age bracket. That’s a quarter-million candidates. Surely at least one among that quarter-million is the right one for you. You just have to persevere until you find him.

  2. SiBeauMac,

    Your statistical approach surely is encouraging in an American context.

    However it is very discouraging for someone like me who lives in Australia where the ‘pool’ of potentially suitable, available Jewish men is more the size of a very small fish bowl 🙁

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