Ladies, first and foremost, don’t fall victim to the martyrdom sometimes associated with carrying the title of “divorcée.” Having moved on and parted ways with your not-so-better-half doesn’t make you less of a person. It just makes you a little more available around Hallmark Holidays like Valentine’s Day.  And, like growing up sometimes takes the magic out of holidays like Hanukkah, Valentine’s Day as a single divorcée might be a bit disheartening at first.

But listen up, ladies: divorce does not mean your dating life is ANY DIFFERENT than the dating life of any other single woman! Avoid so many of the cardinal sins committed by some divorcées on Valentine’s Day, and take these five tips:

1) Realize Valentine’s Day is Just a Day

Turn February 14th into the first day of you becoming a more confident, sexy, happy and independent woman. Valentine’s Day is only as big a deal as you make it, and if you turn it into a day of mourning, that’s a painfully self-fulfilling prophecy.

2) Do Not Stay In

Hide your sweatpants! Stow away your cheap bottles of red wine, and above all else, do NOT plant yourself in front of the television set. Whatever you decide to do, I implore you to make some plans this year! Sure, you can do the whole “Lonely Hearts Club” deal with your best girlfriends. Or, you can try a singles night at a local lounge. Whatever you do, ignore the urge to stay in. I know, it sounds beyond melodramatic, but I’ve seen this happen to too many women.

3) Forgo the February Fat-Fest

It’s so, so tempting to raid the local Duane Reade™  for some Valentine’s Day candy because “Hell, you deserve it!” Instead of packing on pounds at a time when you should really want to feel sexy, forget about the fast food and the quick calories. Make it your goal to SKIP THE SUGARS! Seriously, ladies! Just forget about that aisle in the drugstore and try something healthier.

4) Get Your Game On

Now that you’ve moved on from Ben and Jerry, it’s time to find some real men… with real personality… and a real pulse. Women, divorced or single, are constantly shocked at how easy it is to find a guy. The simple truth, or so I’ve come to find, is that people really like being with people! I’ve shared plenty of advice on how to pick up men anywhere you go! So, put on your sexiest “armor,” preferably in the form of a chic winter coat and your cutest cold-weather blush, and get ready to meet men anywhere you go. Make it your goal to talk to at least five men in the next week as we lead up to Valentine’s Day. There’s never been a problem with entertaining some options!

5) Make a Date!

You’ve done your legwork, and you’ve met your man. Now it’s your job to secure a date. The key to not seeming crazy/desperate by making some sort of a date on Valentine’s Day is to KEEPIT CASUAL!  It’s true, men sometimes scare easily. But, like I’ve said before, February 14th is just a date on a calendar — and that’s how you should see it.

Explain to this new man that you don’t have formal plans for Valentine’s Day this year, and you’d like to go to a comedy club, or grab dinner at your favorite spot. Then add in that you would love to have him join you. If you don’t treat it like a cosmic sign that you two will soon be engaged to marry, chances are he won’t see a problem with having a first date on Valentine’s Day.

Janis Spindel is just 2 Marriages shy of 1000, and she has been in business for 21 years! Specializing in pairing up upscale clientele who are well-educated, sophisticated, attractive professionals, including public figures and celebrities, this self-proclaimed Cupid in a Chanel suit is no-nonsense when it comes to the business of “getting people married.” For more info on Janis, check out
One Comment
  1. Great points about being newly divorced around Valentine’s Day. I have heard many people say they are going to stay home, order take-out and watch sappy movies. Go out and enjoy the night, who cares about being single. Start a new tradition with your girlfriends! Or find a date that is understanding to your newly single state.

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