Have you ever heard someone say, “This is a big, small town…”? It makes no sense at all when taken verbatim, but I would guess many of you know exactly what I mean.
While you may live in one of the most densely populated cities, I bet you see the same people on your way to work each day, socialize with a consistent group of friends, and dine at only a handful of restaurants. Only on occasion do you branch out and try something new or meet someone new. Am I right? We are creatures of habit, even when many opportunities are right in front of us or down the street.
Take that same analogy and apply it to dating. How many times have you heard, or even said yourself, “There just isn’t anyone single for me to date.” Doesn’t that just mean you don’t know or wouldn’t want to date any of the single people in your circle of friends, or in your daily “footprint”? If you were honest, couldn’t there be an eligible date somewhere in your office building, your neighborhood, or perhaps your gym? Maybe you haven’t cast your net wide enough in your own town, or been willing to look beyond where you currently live.
If love is supposed to be blind, then it really shouldn’t need an odometer either. Online dating allows us all to think globally in order to find resources or to purchase goods anywhere and everywhere we find what we want. Why should love be different?
Distance should not be a barrier. Have you ever traveled somewhere and fallen in love with the feeling of just being there? What if you started your dating search in that location? Who knows what could happen or who you could meet. We often limit ourselves for fear of the unknown. When it comes to love, sometimes we need for it not to be blind, but maybe just a little out of focus, until we zero in on the person or place with whom we connect. It is at that point that we can see clearly what is right in front of us and then build our “small town” around it.
Plants can be uprooted, even in old age, and can thrive in new environments. We are no different. Jobs can be found, housing can be bought, sold, or rented, and your worldly possessions can easily follow you. My company has spent the past 20 years helping people relocate with great results — both personally and professionally. Why shouldn’t you be able to initiate that move for love as well? When we are faced with big decisions in life, The Little Engine That Could comes out in all of us. If you think you can, then you better believe that you don’t have to do it alone. There are services, resources and people there to help you pave the way. So, don’t be so geographically limiting in your search for love, widen your search and see what happens… you just might find exactly what you are seeking!
The theory is great – expand the pool and your chances for meeting “the one” are much greater. But how can you really develop a relationship when you can’t make spontaneous plans for coffee or a movie? The further two people are apart, the greater the pressure, when they get together, to become intimate more quickly than you would normally. For a while I did date a guy who lived 4 hours away, and he didn’t drive at night. That meant that actual dates had to be overnights, which gets awkward very quickly.
Falling in love with a city that you visit is very different than deciding to move, sight unseen, to a foreign country. Only the very foolish would pack up and move without visiting many times, unless a job requires you do so. Most of us are not able to make multiple out of town trips to visit a prospective love interest.