Those that are familiar with my work are well aware that I frequently write on the subject of “looks” in regards to online dating.  I frequently am found making the argument that how good looking we are really doesn’t matter when it comes to building attraction with women online.

The other day I received a letter asking for online dating help.  In this letter I was asked the question, “Do looks really not matter?”

This question is not black and white.

Looks do matter.  However, how good looking we are doesn’t matter.

What this means is, women care what we look like, but this does not mean we have to be extremely good looking.  Women care more about our overall appearance, not how aesthetically pleasing our natural looks are.

The truth is, any man can become attractive to a woman with a simple makeover.  The right haircut, the right style, and carrying yourself the right way will boost your looks dramatically.

However, this makes us attractive to women for the opposite reasons than you might expect.  Improving yourself in these ways sends signals that we know how to take care of ourselves, can be taken around her friends, and are socially acceptable.

These qualities are qualities that do build attraction in the female mind and consequently, make them think you are better looking.

Learning the female mind is the key to being successful with online dating.  Lucky for us, there are 10 different ways to attract a woman, all providing evidence that the looks we are born with are not that important.  This makes our lives much easier!