Manners are a difficult thing to have if you do not have them. It’s hard to open a door for a woman if you don’t know that you’re supposed to open a door for a woman. I always figure that doors are an individual experience. I open a door, I walk through the door, I let the door close, I’m now inside.  I don’t have time to be the administrator of some door opening service, expediting this process for whomever I am with. I’m not saying I won’t push the door open if someone is walking in behind me. However, to hold a door for an extra person, well that’s just ridiculous, and a complete waste of time I could be spending slowly dying alone because I won’t even take the time to hold open a door for another person.

Of course, on a date, I will hold a door open. I will let the woman order first. I will even not abandon her mid-meal. I do have a lot to work on, though. For example, when is it appropriate to pull her seat back before she sits down? It’s always appropriate? Okay. I never do that. Then when I don’t do that, I spend the rest of the evening obsessing over the fact that I didn’t do it and that on my next date, which will now most certainly be with somebody else, I will have to, which I know I won’t. People that don’t do this should put it on their profiles. ‘I’m super nice, but I will not pull my seat out for you. I don’t know why I won’t. But I won’t. Call me?’

And then there’s the school of thought that girls like jerks. I don’t know how this compares to guys with good manners, or if these two things are mutually exclusive. I’m neither a jerk nor do I have good manners, so there’s really no reason for anybody to like me. I think if you’re a jerk, you can’t be a nice guy pretending to be a jerk. However, manners can be learned.

However, by age 28, if you don’t have your manners down, then just go with what you have. I have good hygiene and I’m very friendly. I’m going with that. No matter what I say, what I do or don’t do, or where I take you, I promise you that I will smell fantastic. I think that says a lot. Or nothing. I don’t care.