Finding your ideal mate can be like finding your next job. It takes a lot of time and effort, and the lazy people don’t get what they want. You need to be thinking about it every day and do things on a daily basis that will allow you to meet more single people than you are now. Here are some ways to maximize your exposure:

1)      Expand your horizons. For example, instead of narrowing your search on JDate, you need to expand it. Don’t limit yourself to a certain height or hair color. In fact, don’t limit yourself geographically either. While I am not suggesting trying to strike up a conversation with somebody in a foreign country, I do suggest trying to meet somebody in areas where you may relocate, visit or vacation. Cross country relationships will be tough to initiate, but there is no reason why somebody in New York City can’t reach out to somebody in Philadelphia.

2)      Vary what you do in life. People tend to be creatures of habit. They walk the same routes, go to the same restaurants, and socialize with the same people. This leads to stagnation and redundancy. Try doing new things and going to new places.

3)      Workout at different gyms. Many people belong to gyms that have other locations not far from their ‘home’ gym. Make the effort to go across town to workout at a different gym a few times over the next few weeks.

4)      Watch sports at a sports bar. Back in the fall, I spoke at a singles event hosted by Sherri Langburt of Single Edition. A woman approached me after my presentation and asked why she didn’t meet more men. She told me that she thoroughly enjoyed sports and always watched the games. However, she would watch the games at home as opposed to a sports bar. I told her that unless she wanted to meet the Domino’s delivery boy, she wasn’t going to meet anybody sitting at home.

5)      Sam Kinison used to scream, “Go where the food is!” When it comes to meeting people, you need to go where there will be many people of the opposite sex. For example, there are many women that hang out at better (high end?) department stores on Saturday afternoons, especially near the perfume counters. Smart guys will understand that they can easily meet these women simply by hanging out in these areas at this time. Men, on the other hand, might be found at the golf driving range. Perhaps a woman could take golf lessons or go hit balls at the range.

6)      When you are invited to singles events, GO! My wife and I recently hosted a singles BBQ for some friends. Only half of the invitees showed up for my delicious cooking. It was a good-looking crowd, yet some people still found excuses not to come. Yet, these same people continue to complain to us about why they are still single. Go figure!

7)      Be approachable. Don’t go out to dinner without being aware of your surroundings. There are singles to meet all over the place. Don’t have closed conversations amongst your friends at the table. Instead, flirt with somebody. Maybe even buy a girl a drink. Whatever you do, be sociable. You would be very surprised by how many singles go out to dinner with friends and never notice the people around them. In addition, show up for dinner a half hour early and have a drink at the bar. You never know who you can meet.

I have thoroughly enjoyed sharing my thoughts and ideas with JDate readers. Feel free to pick up a copy of my book on Amazon for all of my other ideas. In the meantime, I continue to welcome your many comments on each one of my articles.

*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of, Inc. or its affiliates.

After being a bachelor for many years and counseling his friends about dating, Brad Berkowitz, who is now a JDate Success Story, decided to write the book, The 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood: Lessons Learned Over 20 Years, to help other men navigate the dating scene. To purchase the book, click here! For more articles by Brad, click here.
  1. Thoroughly enjoyed this article. My social life has been stale. There are several very good ideas here. I tend to go out with the same girls all the time and meet their guy friends. I know I have to meet some new people.

  2. My social life has been stale so this article resonates with me. I am going to take your advice with respect to Number 3. I tend to workout at the same gym, at the same time, on the same days, and see the same people. I am going to go to the other gyms in the chain and see what happens.

  3. Dude, is this your last article? It kind of implies that in the last paragraph. I have enjoyed all of your articles and hope you aren’t retiring.

    Can you elaborate on what you meant by being approachable? I am told I am a little standoffish. How does one make it known that I can be approached?

  4. Good stuff here. I have been trying to get my girlfriends to do much of this, but they don’t. I try to get them to go out more often and do new things.

    Very well written as are your other articles. Looking forward to more.

  5. Didn’t I read an article you wrote about how to write a good first letter? Actually I think you had incorporated into a couple of articles. Either way, I have been reading your article for a while and you shoot straight from the hip. Excellent articles and very insightful.

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