Comedian J.D. Shapiro shares how appealing to a man’s instincts can win his heart
You’re in control. Again, you ladies are in control.
Hello. My name is J.D. Shapiro. You might be wondering why, out of the hundreds of dating sites, I have chosen to do an article for JDate. The answer is simple: They’re the only ones who asked me. I jest. There were many dating sites that wanted me to write an article. I decided on JDate not only because I happen to be born Jewish, but because there are so many wonderful women on the site who are wondering why love and commitment is escaping them. And I believe I can shed some insightful light on the subject for you.

Some people would say I am an award-winning writer/director. Others might say I am a stand-up comedian who does funny, razor-sharp observations about men, women and relationships. And two people from Des Moines, Iowa would describe me as a very sloppy eater.

I would sum me up by saying I’m a man. And being a man, I understand men and what we want. And because I grew up with three sisters and was surrounded by women my entire life, I also see all the things women don’t understand about us men and why, because of this, many relationships fail. Because I am a man who is willing to be completely honest, I can give you ladies insights into men that reveal secrets that allow you to use your natural gifts to get what you want. One of those secrets is: You’re in control.

Again, you ladies are in control.


I have come to realize that most women don’t know how to use the tools Mother Nature gave each and every one of them to get what they want from a man. And get it in a way where both sexes win. Mother Nature specifically gave the tools to women to insure the survival of the species. Yes, both men and women are needed for procreation. But after a man does his job, so to speak, he’s worthless (and probably sleeping). Women take it from there and for nine months and beyond you bring life into the world and nurture it. Women need to be strong enough to incubate the baby, birth the baby, feed the baby, and eventually, marry a big baby. Thus the reason women live longer: Male babies have a higher mortality rate, women are less susceptible to disease and don’t complain nearly as much as men do when they get something as tragic and life threatening as the common cold. If women didn’t have this strength, the survival of our species would be in great jeopardy. More than likely, we’d be extinct. So thus, women are stronger than men and in control.

But most women don’t know the truth about men and how you can use your strength to land a man.

There’s a reason the term “landing a man” exists. Like landing a plane, it’s the pilot who is in control. And when it comes to men, you’re the pilot. And like any pilot, you have all the tools at your disposal to land a man. Men’s fears have masked the truth. Women’s fears have allowed that mask to stay firmly in place. And “political correctness” has tried to tie everything up in a neat bow that unravels because the foundation is not solid.
So what you want to do is become a habit in his life.
I just finished my new book, The Truth About Men (this is known as a “plug.” Actually, it’s known as a “shameless plug”). I decided to write a book because I discovered there was a deep lack of any succinct and totally candid and honest guide that could help a woman land a man. Being a writer and someone who has spent his life being a magnet for women who want dating advice, I decided to write that guide. Being a comedian I wanted it to be not only informative, but a fun read.

The key to mastering anything, including men, is to understand what makes them tick and why. This way, you’ll have the information you need so you can use your tools to get what you want from a man. Think about it. If your car broke down and you knew how it worked and why it isn’t working, you’d be able to fix it. Without that knowledge, you’re just guessing and waiting until another car or tow truck, comes along.

When it comes to a man, the underlining way to manipulate him (and I don’t say “manipulate” in a malicious way), is to use a man’s strongest instinct; his survival instinct. Our instincts go back 200,000 years and our strongest instinct is the need to survive. So strong is our fear of not surviving, we do things in life that we think will guarantee our survival at the expense of living a fully enriched life. We’d rather exist than take risks. Instincts create habits and we humans are habitual creatures. Both good and bad habits are hard to break.
Sure, without our fathers we wouldn’t exist. But without our mothers, we wouldn’t have survived.
So what you want to do is become a habit in his life. As Confucius said, “Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that carry them far apart.” Becoming a habit is not following The Rules, using tricks or playing games. Those just get you into yet another relationship that won’t last. Using a man’s instincts to become a habit is the only way to get into a relationship that will get him on bended knee and be a solid foundation for a healthy, long lasting relationship.

But, how do you become a habit?

In The Truth About Men, I give many ways a woman can become a man’s habit. One of the main ways is to understand what with you are working. Men are simple creatures with basic wants and needs. Grown men are still little boys at heart, looking for their “mothers.” When we find a woman who will do things for us, it reminds us of a time when we had our own Jeannie for nine months…and beyond.

This is why most men thank their mothers whenever they accomplish something. Sure, without our fathers we wouldn’t exist. But without our mothers, we wouldn’t have survived. I’m not suggesting you be his mother. Any guy who can’t take care of himself has a major glitch and isn’t the right guy for any woman. Well, for any woman who doesn’t want to play “mommy” all the time.

What I am saying is the little boy in us loves it when a woman takes the time and makes the effort to give us some womb service. This is why many men, consciously or not, and usually it’s not; end up with women who have many of the same qualities and tendencies of their mother – even if they didn’t particularly like their mother’s qualities. (The same goes for women ending up with men like their fathers.)

Use the innate power of Mother Nature and use men’s instincts to your advantage to become a habit. And not only will you land a man…you’ll both be happy.

Award winning writer/ director J.D. Shapiro is considered an expert on relationships and has appeared on MTV, Comedy Central, E!, Entertainment Tonight and The Mike & Juliet Show. Among the movies he’s written is Robin Hood: Men In Tights.
  1. So, basically what this guy is saying is you have to always play the mother role to what is suppoosed to be your peer, even if you don’t have a kid? There is nothing that is more of a turn off to me than having to deal with an adult like they are a child. If I wanted to be a mother I would have had kids. Who wouldn’t want someone to “take care of them” like a parent. I don’t want to do that so, according to this guy, I guess I will stay single forever.
    Here’s to a life of not being anoid!

  2. Agreed. The Truth about men is that they’re little boys who need someone to take care of them?

    Can you say “codependent?”

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