Dear JMag® Readers,
Last week I received an overwhelming number of dating questions from members of the community and this week I decided to share one with you. While I simply cannot answer them all, I do try to answer each query personally and I hope the emails keep coming.
Question: I was widowed less than two years ago after a happy marriage of 40 years. I am now closing in on 60 and find it difficult to connect with any man online. I believe I am an attractive woman, and would be quite a catch according to a lot of people. I found it incredibly difficult to write my online profile, and don’t really have any good pictures. I think it is because subconsciously I just cannot sell myself. I find this whole thing very depressing and degrading, and find that the responses I’m getting are not very inspiring. I really do want to meet a partner for the second half of my life but am not sure how. Can you offer me some encouragement and guidance?
Answer: My sincere condolences for your loss, and I hope that this note provides some insight that can help you with your search as you seek to move forward. The good news is that individuals within the 45+ age group are one of the fastest growing segments within the digital dating space, which ups your chances of success. And, since many are re-entering the dating world post-divorce or after the loss of a spouse, they share many of the same hesitations, challenges and fears that you are encountering.
There are plenty of resources available to online daters that can make the process less daunting while making your profile stand out from the rest. For example, some companies offer professional photography services that deliver attractive and authentic profile pictures to those in need as well as individuals that will write an award winning profile on your behalf.
For emotional support and even technical how-tos, a dating coach or expert may be just what you need. A simple “google” search is all it takes to find a pro that focuses on helping midlife and prime singles. Many offer tele-classes, workshops and one-on-one sessions on a range of dating and relationship topics that you may find relevant.
The key to smart investing is to diversify, and I would be remiss if I did not point out that this same principle applies to dating. While JDate.com is a wonderful foundation, there are other complementary channels you should pursue to enhance your prospects of success. Joining a special interest group in your area like a single’s supper club or boomer activity group will help you grow your network. Similarly, social networking tools and sites are a great way to make new connections or rekindle old friendships.
Finally, keep in mind that social dynamics on the Internet are quite different than those to which you may be accustomed, so be patient with yourself and try not to take the process too personally. Treat yourself and your search with the respect and focus you deserve, and you will be best positioned to find the love and fulfillment you seek.
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Hi, I am a 52 years old woman and paying member on JDate since about 1 year, and I don’t get any mail except from supposedly widow man, all in their 50s, if I have to believe them, the united states has became, a country with too much widows, I think they are false widows, because when I start talking with them, they says they are jewish, then they change they’re not anymore jewish, just searching for stupid women, because after a while they start saying that they are in need of money, usually they have a good looking picture, they are young, and they’ll accept anything, don’t you check sometimes those kind of suscription?
Dear “Love Doctor”,
I am a slightly disabled woman attempting through JDATE(I limp through my life on my right leg, have fist for a right hand. Easiest way to say it, I have an extremely mild case of Cerebral Palsy). Tomorrow, I am going to be 39, and as I’m sure you can imagine, I haven’t had a lot of “experience”–dating or otherwise. In fact, I feel like the last virgin on earth! Am I?