Dear Tamar,

Among the gentlemen I have “Secretly Admired,” there is this one guy I particularly like but he hasn’t “admired” me back. I’ve seen that he logged in recently, but there’s no record of him viewing my profile… which, of course, could be just due to his search setting not showing the profiles he views. I think there are good chances he did view my profile and is simply not interested. However, there are also some slim chances he just missed the admirer game.

To cut a long story short… should I email the guy? Or would I just make a complete fool of myself?


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Dear Should I Email?

The short answer is YES! You’re exactly right, his search preferences may not include you, or he may not know about the ability to use the “See Who’s Viewed You” function. Alas, he would need nearly all of his search preferences to exclude you in order for you to not show up, and nearly everyone uses the “Viewed You” function. Since he hasn’t even viewed your profile, then he may be judging a book by it’s cover and may not prefer your profile photo. Switch it up. Take some new photos.

At the end of the day though, don’t leave it to chance. Send him an email, but don’t bother including the details of “Secretly Admiring” him or constantly viewing him, just tell him you think he’s attractive, and note a few of the things you have in common.

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