When you’re in a new relationship, there is going to be some fluster and fumble happening along the way as you discover and explore what the other likes. Yes, I’m talking about sex. Not just sex, but kissing, groping, etc. etc. etc. (etc.). Everyone has their preferences – the moves and techniques that turn them on – but none of us are mind-readers.

So rather than rule a prospect out because you don’t like their technique, take action. That is, take the initiative to ask him or her what they like… slow or fast, gentle or rough… and the hope is that your partner will ask you the same question in return. If he or she doesn’t get the hint, take the opportunity to offer your preferences. Just because you had a skill that worked magic on one partner doesn’t mean it will do the same for the next.

And if that doesn’t do the trick, then simply tell your partner to try it the way you like it. Be very obvious in your physical (and verbal) response that you are enjoying yourself. If your partner resorts to their old tricks, then tell them that you really liked it when they did it the other way, therefore making it their idea. And keep repeating this tactic until your partner begins to do it (what IT may be) the way you prefer it without prompting.

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