So, you’ve just met someone on JDate and you couldn’t be more excited! You had your first date two nights ago, and they are beyond amazing (obviously)! Now your phone is ringing – and it’s your date from the other night! This call is crucial. Even if your first meeting was the stuff of Hollywood rom-com screenplays, a weird convo could destroy any future chances of a date. No pressure. But in all seriousness, there are some key elements to this first post-date phone call. What is your match looking for to seal the deal for a second date?

1. Get Excited

We sometimes forget our date can be even MORE self-conscious than we are! It probably took a lot of nerve to call you in the first place, and if there’s any indication you’re not really into it, your date will not waste any time in writing it off as a mistake. Now, before you bring out your pom-poms and megaphone, we’re not talking high school cheer-squad excitement. Don’t shout into the phone, squeal, or breath too heavy. Your date simply needs to understand you’re looking forward to meeting up again soon.

2. Find Your Voice

Be careful with that phone voice. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard of women answering the phone with a ridiculous, throaty purr. On the flip side, I’ve also heard of guys who try and talk much deeper than their usual tone. Just try your best to project confidence with your voice. One more thing: don’t swear like a sailor. It’s not funny or attractive, it’s just cheap.

3. Don’t Judge

At the same time, don’t judge you date’s phone voice too harshly. Some people just sound strange on the phone – it’s a fact. Before you leap to any conclusions about this person, remember what they sounded like in person when you met for your first date. If you can’t remember, just wait until you meet again (in person) to form any opinions!

4. Be Present

Give your date your undivided attention. We’re all guilty of multi-tasking, but it’s unfair and just plain RUDE to act disinterested in the conversation. Close your laptop, shut the magazine, and turn off the television when they call. If your match calls at an awful time, it’s not a bad idea to say, “Hey, I’m so happy to hear from you, but I’m in the middle of about ten things! Can I give you a call back when things calm down, so we can actually talk? I’d hate to give you less than my full attention.” If you actually wind up dating this person, you want to make sure you didn’t short-change them!

5. Make Small-Talk

Share a short anecdote about your day, maybe a mention of your first date, anything to give you a happy buzz about your connection. Save the full-length stories and deep conversations for your next date though. If you act “all-business” on the phone, your date might be a little intimidated, or wonder if you’re still interested.

6. Explain Your Availability

This one is tricky. The worst thing you can do is to tell your date you’re free ALL week. A person has gotta wonder, “Why doesn’t he/she have any plans?” And if you’ve got the opposite situation, you’re almost totally booked, it’s a bad idea to try and squeeze someone in when you don’t really have the time. Nothing is worse than a rushed phone call, and this person will feel like your last priority – it’s not a great impression to give.

Take action by offering one or two nights when you’re free. You may have to make yourself available if you have flexible plans. Your date will get a huge ego boost if they know you’re rearranging your schedule for them, even if it’s just for an hour or two for casual drinks! Just find a night that works and then make your plans!

When you hang up the phone, you should both leave the conversation intrigued, excited, and comfortable with the idea of spending a few hours (if not a few months) together.  Best of luck and happy dating!

Janis Spindel is just 2 Marriages shy of 1000, and she has been in business for 21 years! Specializing in pairing up upscale clientele who are well-educated, sophisticated, attractive professionals, including public figures and celebrities, this self-proclaimed Cupid in a Chanel suit is no-nonsense when it comes to the business of “getting people married.” For more info on Janis, check out
One Comment
  1. Dear Janis
    you are so right.. and I agree with everything you say. Only you’ve not warned to stay switched on: this happened to me: “HE” called, we talked, we agreed on a meeting or on meeting, I put the phone down and my head was totally blank. Did we agree on an actual date, place and time? Or was it more of a general let’s get together thing? I wasn’t sure. Or to be correct: I did not have a clue but had a horrible suspicion that something crucial had fallen through the siev of my brain..
    So I called back, apologised and asked and yes, we had agreed on date, time and place. And no, I’m not braindead, my IQ is above room temperature and that guy was who I believed was the love of my life.. (but not at that stage, it took about three to four dates).
    So this is important. If you’re excited, don’t fix dates while your brain acts like a washing mashine on spin cycle.

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