I don’t know about all of you, but once upon a time New Year’s Eve and the month of January wasn’t exactly the greatest time of year for me. In fact, as a guy who once struggled more than anyone with women, it was downright emotionally crippling, watching all the happy couples kiss as I stood against a corner wondering why I was alone.
New Year’s Eve was nothing but a reminder of the fact that I was single, unhappy, and desperately wanted some type of female connection. And while I spent most of my time back then in self pity and feeling bad for myself, I should have been self-reflecting and figuring out, “What was I doing wrong?”
The New Year should not be a time of feeling bad about oneself. It should be a time of optimism and hope when it comes to online dating. Think of the month of January as a completely fresh slate. When it comes to online dating, sometimes we just need that symbolic fresh start to get things moving in the right direction again.
With that said, let’s make a few New Year’s resolutions that will help carry us into the New Year with success.
1. Write a new profile.
A new profile is key to having a fresh start. Allow me to provide an example. The other day a friend of mine asked me to re-write his profile in a way that would attract more women. After re-writing his profile his responses literally tripled. In addition, women were messaging him first which was barely ever happening in the past. Why? Humor, humor, and more humor. Show that you are funny, and you will be showing your dates that you are more than just another online dater. The fear of going on a boring date will evaporate from their minds and you will be in prime position to jump to the head of the line.
2. Put up some new pictures.
Women see the same boring pictures over and over. Dust off the old photo album and get some good ones up that create controversy and interest. You wouldn’t believe how the rate my messages shot the roof just by adding a picture of me and my dog doing something funny together. Give women a good reason to message you through your pictures and you would be amazed at the reactions you will get.
3. Sort through old emails.
Sorting through old emails is critical to gaining a better understanding of what works and what doesn’t work. Look at all your emails that enticed a response over the past year.
Which ones were effective? Which weren’t? Are you getting first responses, but failing to close on phone numbers?
Study where you fell off and where things worked out. There is an art to online dating and the pacing of emails. We have to engage from start to finish. Believe it or not, most strategies that both work and fail are similar with all women.
4. Start Exercising and Eating Healthier.
Let me be extra clear on this one. Those who know my teachings are well aware that looks are not critical to attracting women. In my opinion there are ten highly effective ways to attract women that have nothing to do with looks.
However, I am a big advocate of feeling mentally healthy. Exercising and eating right will increase your mental health and raise confidence levels.
We can study all we want how to be expert online daters, but without that confidence and true belief in ourselves, our goals will never come to fruition.
5. Take on a new hobby or two.
When it comes down to it, women want a man that is interesting above all. If our lives are nothing but the ordinary: work, sleep, work, rinse, wash, repeat, we really don’t have much to talk about and won’t be that interesting. Find something that you are passionate about, take on a new hobby, and keep rounding yourself out as a person this New Year. Women will see this and love it.
Joshua Pompey provides online dating advice to men all over the world and has written for some of the biggest publications out there. For tons more free online dating advice for men, click how to pick up girls online and sign up for your free profile evaluation today from Joshua Pompey’s expert profile writing staff!
To the author, Joshua Pompey, this all very well in theory, but attractive ladies will reject you regardless of this advice. Especially with online dating, if you don’t look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney, they will reject you. I consider myself to be friendly and handsome but attractive ladies will still reject you. They say women are more interested in humor, but when it comes to the crunch looks will win! Just look at all the stunning JDate Success Story brides who have handsome husbands!
This is simply not true at all. I recently had a profile created for me by someone that works with joshua pompey and i have received a constant influx of emails telling me how my profile is so funny with these women starting conversations with me. Its kinda nuts. I used to be in your boat. You sound a little bitter! humor is tremendously important i realized!
I would have to agree with Kevin. He makes a great point about almost every stunning JDate bride having a good looking husband. Would these same brides have married those same husbands if they were average looking with a sense of humor rather than good looking with no sense of humor? Also, I believe that Anthony is being quite harsh on Kevin. Like Anthony, I have used humor and got replies from attractive women. However, the point Kevin is trying to make is that whether these same women will agree and more importantly end up going out on more than one date with you. From experience, they end up marrying or settling for a more handsome guy, with no sense of humour. I don’t think Kevin is being bitter at all. He is just simply stating the reality. Sad, bad true.
I find the argument between Kevin and Anthony fascinating! Can we please have an attractive JDate woman’s point of view that when it comes to marrying a guy, among other guys, would they rather marry a Brad Pitt or George Clooney lookalike with no sense of humor, or a George Costanza lookalike with a sense of humor! I would love to hear the thoughts of these ladies!
In regard of what Paul said, I don’t consider myself a “Stunner of a Jdater”, but I have guys compliment me on my looks. I think George Clooney is hot :), but as far as my ideal match goes, all of the guys I have fallen for could only be considered as “Nice”, but had great characters & were smart. Most women are looking for a gentelman, one who truly gives himself in a relationship, is honest, dependable & loving. That’s what a woman in her late 20’s or in her 30’s, looks for & these are the qualities which would appeal to her & create a true attraction.
Looks are not what makes a relationship. Someone who makes me laugh on the other hand…
What I’m looking for in a realtionship trust, loyalty, affection, intimacy, humor and understanding.
I Noticed there are a bunch of comments since I last wrote.
Look, maybe I was a bit harsh. But what I’m trying to say is this. It isn’t ONLY about being funny.
A lot of guys go on dates, go home and say, well I was nice, funny, yet she still didn’t want a second date with me. Thats because you still have to make her want you. This takes a lot of skill.
I hate to break it to you all out there but being nice a gentleman and funny just isn’t enough. You clearly need to make a girl highly attracted to you also and I hate when people say that you can’t do this with a good looking women unless you have great looks.
Although profile pics are important, it’s that 1st meet that will determine if a woman will want to consider getting together again. It is NOT (just) about looks, not at all. As other ladies have said, along with the humor, it is character, gentlemanliness (is that a word?), kindness,eye contact – extremely important, especially if it is absent, and caring that count. Just as with women, self confidence is all important, in life and in dating. Develop it. You need to like yourself, or love yourself, before others can. Good luck to all of us. I’ll close with this quote I was just about to tweet: “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
As another JDate Expert/Writer and someone who married a nice Jewish boy, I think Josh’s suggestions are right on. Though I do think humor can over-take looks for a long term relationship any day, you have to be careful in a profile to still come across as authentic. Too much humor starts to sound like a schtick to pick up chicks plus if you’re not as funny in person, the girls could leave feeling duped. Most of my female clients have begun to rank PASSION first. Having something that you are excited to do and to tell others about, whether it is your job or a hobby as Josh mentions, can make ladies get excited about you as well.
To the author, Joshua Pompey, or anyone for that matter, can you please explain to me Kevin’s main point, why do stunning JDate brides have good looking husbands in the JDate Success Stories, as you claim the looks you are born with do not deny you success online?