Being that I am so successful at writing emails that capture the attention of females, people are always asking me, “What emails will get the most responses?” Or, “Is there a magic system that works every time?” The answer to this question is somewhat complicated.

Yes, there are emails that tend to work over and over again. But no, you cannot just spam out the same response to hundreds of women and get responses.  If women feel they are being spammed, they will instantly throw you into the delete pile. The key to success lies somewhere within the middle.

We can use similar emails on different girls, but there must be some originality within each message.

In order to write that first email that gives us the best chance of success, we can all follow a template that I call the “one–two email combination.” This template will afford us originality and draw the interest of females, but still allow us to re-use our material every once in a while on other matches as well.

Here’s how it works:

1.     Scan a woman’s profile for something unique that you can comment on. Preferably a commonality between the two of you.

2.     Proceed to make one playful or flirtatious joke about it.

3.     Follow up your joke with a question that pertains to step number two, or a question that deals with something else in her profile. This could be very straightforward, basic, and should be easy to answer.

4.     Keep the first email short, and very simple to answer.

Simple right?


Now let’s take a look at this plan in action. I will use myself as an example. In my profile, I have a picture with me and my dog to attract the attention of dog lovers and show the various sides of myself.

The following would be a sample of a first email you could potentially send to a match:

Subject:  You have to be kidding me:

Message: So it’s not enough that you’re kind of cute, but you also have to steal my idea of taking a cute dog photo just to lure people in. I call foul. We’re in our first fight ;P…

So what kind of dog is that, do you ever hang around Central Park? Maybe we could double sometime as long as you promise to act like my dog is cuter than me!


Now let’s take a look at what we have accomplished here:

1.     We scanned the profile for something original.

2.     We commented and made a flirtatious joke.

3.     Our subject gets her attention and makes her notice our email first.

4.     By saying, “We are in our first fight” we subconsciously plant the seed in her head that we already have some type of relationship going and are role-playing.

5.     We established a common interest that opens the door to good conversation.

6.     We make the question simple and easy to answer.  It won’t feel like homework for the woman who is answering – which is important since women get bombarded with emails.


Allow us to always note that a similar first email can be used on many women, as long as they are dog lovers. It’s okay to use highly effective messages multiple times, as long as it appears that we are not spamming them to just “any woman.”  If you come up with an email that works well on all teachers, use them on all teachers. The same goes for doctors, nurses, women who love traveling, etc.

The better you become at emailing, the more advanced you will become at scanning for good profile information and writing first emails that get responses.

Just be sure to follow the template above. It is without a doubt the most successful way to generate results!

For more freeonline dating email tips, and all theonline dating tips you can ask for, be sure to visit Joshua Pompey’s homepage, at
  1. Got it!

    I should get a dog and move closer to Central Park…

  2. Or you can just be yourself and not follow some canned and cheese ball format that surely would cause the recipient to pause before hitting the delete button due to the fact of rolling their eyes. Unless you intent is to sabotage your readers this is simply a dereliction of duty.

    I am just thankful this is not how you are making a living or publishing books on the topic.

    Max Rosenthal

  3. @Max,

    You are taking it way too seriously.

    Joshua’s advice is more than just volcanically destructive. I have a deep suspicion that it is actually correct, as JDate females are not hungry (unless it is a fancy joint) and want entertainment.

  4. What is quite astonishing about this so called writer and expert is that he actually appears to believe he has some kind of qualification to dole out this stuff. Why does J date allow this kind of amateur trollop to be published on its site – why not just go and ask a high school teenager how he picks up girls. Isn’t there anyone better they could approach, perhaps someone who knows how to write who is not just doing this to promote some web based product that he wants to benefit from.

  5. Dear Joshua Pompey,

    I was browsing for a female on jdate. I noticed a female that I would like to me interested into. The introduction note that I sent to her was “Hi there. How are you? I’m Marcus. I would like to know more about you. Would you like to know more about me?” Joshua, am I using the right words to capture the attention of females?

  6. Ummm…

    this is actually great advice, me and a bunch of my friends read joshua every week. You are all bitter and clearly don’t understand women.

  7. That would be enough to get my attention. At least enough for me to read his profile and want to talk to him more about doggies. It’s playful and cute. It is also nice to hear in an email that people are responding to more than a picture. The message is dangerously close to sounding douchy, but it didn’t quite cross the douche line.
    Also is there a way to read emails and im without having to pay the monthly fee?

  8. An email has to be well written, grammatically correct and ABOVE ALL RESPECTFUL and not lurid or suggestive in any way. Also, if someone calls me baby, muffin, buttercup or any terms of endearment, I usually answer with a term of endearment of my own: Soggy Noodle or Numb Nuts. If you don’t know me, don’t be too familiar, just because my appearance appeals to you.

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