Honesty is the Best Policy

I recently received a few emails from readers with the same general dating-image challenge. For some, this dilemma was a subtle and easily overlooked snafu. For others, it was a completely mind-blowing “what-the-what?” kind of experience that left them feeling wronged. The controversial topic at hand? When your date’s profile photos look nothing like them!

Now, this topic comes with no judgment from me. I get it. We want our profile photos to present our best, brightest and most attractive self. The issue is that most of us have insecurities in one way or another, which may affect our decision-making. Can our insecurities of who we are and how we look get the best of us? Forcing us to choose photos from years prior, even though that isn’t how we currently look? Hopefully not, but, obviously, it happens.

Using your profile as a shield to hide who you really are and what you really look like negates finding “The One” completely. When you meet “The One,” it just works. You will be loved for the real you. How about those wise words we’ve all heard again and again: “You can’t truly love somebody else until you learn to love yourself.” As a confidence coach, it breaks my heart to hear that people are not embracing who they are right now at this very moment.

So what if your once-full-head-of-hair is now noticeably thinning, embrace it! Shave your head and post that photo! It’s common, and sexy when rocked with confidence.

So what if your skin has matured over the years, embrace it! Go get a facial, hydrate and take care of yourself. Wear brighter colors and avoid black and shiny fabrics near your face. (They cast shadows on those fine lines!) Most importantly, just smile – it will brighten up any room.

So what if you put on a few pounds, embrace it! Remember that wardrobe fit is your best friend. Don’t hide behind your fabrics. You can look 5 to 10 pounds slimmer with the right wardrobe fit and styling for your frame. The easiest trick is to wear a similar color on top and bottom – like a dark blue blouse with dark denim, and then add a brighter, bolder jacket, blazer, or cardigan over that.

Relationships are about caring, honesty, compassion, communication, and unconditional love. It’s time we all take a good look in the mirror and accept who we are, where we are, and what we look like. It’s all about staying true to you. Honesty should always be your best policy. And, as your image consultant and confidence coach, here to help you see your true beauty, I repeat: embrace what makes you unique and rock your confidence every day. Because, it’s that inner confidence that will glow through your clothes, through your skin, through your insecurities, and radiate into the world. This is the true secret to creating the law of attraction!

I want to leave you with this one last thought: hiding behind a photo that isn’t a true representation of who you are today is doing yourself a disservice, and quite possibly, setting yourself up for dating disappointment. I don’t want that for you. I want to see you all happy, embracing who you are, having fun while you date, and eventually meeting that one special somebody who sees through all your outer insecurities and directly into your heart and soul. That said, I am here to help you, guide you, teach you, and coach you through it all. You know where to find me! Just mention that you read this story and receive 10% off your next coaching package.

Named “LA’s go-to stylist” by the Los Angeles Times in 2012, certified image consultant and personal stylist Laurie Brucker of LaurieBstyle LLC, is the stylist for real people. With a degree in Apparel Merchandising from Indiana University, and a certification from the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City for Image Consulting, Laurie was hand-picked as a top stylist in 2011 to represent Stacy London from TLC’s “What Not to Wear.” Keeping style very personal, Laurie has developed the “Style Strategies for Success,” which empowers her clients with the tools, techniques and art of creating your own unique sense of style that’s right for you! Join Laurie on her website for more tips, tricks and style advice: or book a one-on-one session today!
One Comment
  1. I do NOT understand why women expect MEN to pay for everything.

    WHY ?

    Most women have divorce settlements that make them very wealthy…plus a lot of them a widows who have a lot of money.

    Why do they expect the MAN to pay for their holidays? Why? They have more money than most men.

    I’d like to hear about that from the women. I have my own theories. But I’d like an honest answer from the women.

    I feel like a lot of them are looking for a meal ticket and have their expenses paid for.

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