5,000 Miles to Love

This story is about not getting discouraged and never giving up on your dreams.

I am one of the original JDate members in the Philadelphia area. I joined JDate in 1997 when I was 30 years old and there were only a dozen women in the Philly area. I have seen JDate change ownership and web layouts several times. Over the past 13 years, I have received 2,523 messages from JDate women and have sent 601 messages (not to mention all of the messages before they started counting). I have been on hundreds of dates in multiple cities.

At 42 I had given up on online dating but felt the need to keep my JDate account open. “Just in case,” I would tell myself. One evening in the spring of 2009, this hopeful perspective paid off and an instant message popped up on my computer screen. It was from an attractive woman in London, England and we spent the next half an hour sending messages back and forth. I called her shortly after and we had a nice conversation but I had a feeling Zofia was not too enthusiastic about the prospect of a long distance relationship. We politely said our goodbyes, agreeing we would keep in contact but would go on with our separate lives.

A few months later I felt compelled to email Zofia, just to check in, and for some reason the timing was right, a spark was ignited and our communication accelerated. The passion grew between us; we regularly spoke on the phone and quickly started to fall in love but how were we to have a date when we lived nearly 5000 miles apart? Luckily Zofia was more tech savvy than I and suggested our first date be over Skype as a solution. It was a magical moment and it felt incredible to finally see each other in “cyber flesh,” cementing our feelings face to face. The next morning I woke up knowing I couldn’t wait any longer and I just had to get to London to find out if what we were feeling was real. I booked a ticket for a week later and on December the 11th, unbeknownst to me, I took the first step on a new path with my future wife. We had an amazing few days and I knew after this first weekend with Zofia that she was the one for me. My Beshert.

Around six weeks later, at the start of 2010, I returned to London to “double check” how we were feeling! It was still all there and Zofia arranged for me to have dinner with her family – an obvious test which I apparently passed with flying colors! When my trip came to an end we realized we had to give this a serious try, despite it only being our second date! So Zofia decided to quit her job in London and move to Philadelphia for a few months to see where this would take us. Fast forward two months to March 2010 and she arrived to my home with several bags in tow and a nervous look on her face! My world was also about to turn upside down because the eternal bachelor inside me was finally being kicked out to make room for the loving relationship I had always dreamed of! The next few months flew by and we discovered a love and bond that couldn’t be broken by any challenges we faced…including immigration officers!

On our first date anniversary, December 11th 2010, in a room full of strangers and with a view overlooking one of the prettiest parks in Philadelphia, I confidently got down on one knee and asked Zofia to spend the rest of her life with me. We got married on a snowy afternoon, a few weeks later, at our home on New Years Eve 2010 with close friends and family,  simultaneously webcasting it to relatives around the world in keeping with the style of our transatlantic love. It was emotional and heartfelt and everything our relationship symbolized.

I can’t wait to experience everything with Zofia. After 30 years of people telling me I am “too picky” I finally feel blessed and complete. I always hoped one day I would write this letter to JDate and I am happy to inform you I have cancelled my account forever. For all of you JDaters® out there who are tired of kissing frogs and looking for your prince/ss, don’t get discouraged. When it is meant to happen for you it will and you will know it when it does. Best of luck to you all and “good luck with your search!” Log me out!

Zofia & Jim
Narbeth, Pennsylvania