Dear Tamar,

I live about a half hour outside of NYC.  It seems that every man on JDate lives in the city! Since I don’t drive in the city, it would cost me about $20 every time I want to go in for a date, and I find that most New Yorkers aren’t willing to come to New Jersey.  Is it worth the money to keep spending on traveling to first dates? Should I expect the man to make the trip to see me?  I’m a pure Jersey girl, and I think this is hurting me in finding a relationship.  How can I fight this distance barrier? Please help!

Dear Jersey Girl,

How much is the chance of meeting your Beshert worth? $20 each time can add up quickly, sure, especially when the first dates are duds. But eventually that $20 is going to lead to a serious relationship at which point the man will start driving out to Jersey on a regular basis. Is there somewhere you can suggest to meet in between or at least somewhere near where your train lets off so you don’t have to commute plus deal with NYC traffic? I know Jersey gets a bad rap (thank you Jersey Shore), but as a true Jersey girl try to reshape people’s views by being a class act about the commute.