Oh, Israeli men. I could write you a love letter the length of the Dead Sea Scrolls. You’re charming and handsome, Jewish and cool, tan regardless of the season… I’d give you five stars on Yelp and recommend you to a friend.
Ladies and gents, if you’re an American considering taking the Sabra plunge, here are ten reasons you should get off your tuches and go text him some emojis already.
1. He’s Frickin’ Great-Looking
Where are your ancestors from? Russia? Me too. Newsflash: gene diversity makes you beautiful (I’m looking at you, Rashida Jones), and Israeli guys are the product of some serious Ashkenazi-Mizrahi-Sephardi mixing that makes them both exotic and symmetrical. SHALOM.
2. He Isn’t Easily Rattled
He backpacked around the world for a year; he grew up surrounded by very aggressive, very direct women; and he protected his country from scary terrorist organizations. He’ll keep his cool and help you see the big picture when you’re freaking out over the little things (the cockroach in the shower, the terrible traffic, the too-spicy Thai food). Perspective is everything.
3. He’s Well-Trained
He’s super considerate. He notices and appreciates when you cook for him, asks for seconds, and then does the dishes. He takes care of you. He has a demanding and doting mother and four sisters who all adore him, who taught him how to be loving… and how to follow directions.
4. He’s Into Relationships
Israeli women don’t put up with crap – men hitting it and quitting it included. So guys learn to appreciate relationships early on. He’s way less commitment-phobic than your average American Joe, and he’ll wow you with the relationship skills he picked up from his previous serious relationships. Toda, Yael and Tamar!
5. You Can Escape Winter Together
Everyone’s freezing their butts off, but you’re spending Christmas break with his family in Ramat Gan. After a few days of hummus and sunshine and his mother’s cooking, you’ll forget what frostbite feels like.
6. He’s Ridiculously Affectionate
Israeli culture is warm and familiar and super touchy. These guys are not afraid of hugging, kissing, snuggling, you name it. Get ready to feel the love, and kiss those chaste pecks goodbye. Thankfully, these boys were never told to “leave room for Jesus.”
7. He’ll Introduce You To Great Music & Food
He’ll open the door to a whole new culture that sounds great and tastes delicious. Your life will be so much better once you’ve been introduced to Arik Einstein, shakshuka, Idan Raichel, sabich, bamba, and the whole genre of Mizrahi music (Eyal Golan will forever change your dance party expectations for the better).
8. He’s Like A Real-Life James Bond
(But circumcised!) You know how much badass, Jason Bourne-esque stuff he did in the army? You know how many codes he decoded, how many secret missions he went on, how many terrorist plots he intercepted in Lebanon at the last second? That’s right, you don’t. Because that stuff is top-secret, so if he told you, he’d have to kill you. But he was definitely disabling bombs while you were sleeping through class.
9. He’s Always Late
Just like you! In Israel, no one has time to worry about being on time. You’ll both show up 15-20 minutes late, and your relationship will be blissfully guilt-free, except for when you’re eating bacon.
10. He’ll Speak Hebrew To You In Bed
Dirty talk – and normal talk – in the sack can be awkward. The pressure of word choice alone can render anyone speechless. Enter: Sexy Foreign Language You Do Not Speak or Understand. He can say whatever and it will sound romantic and mysterious no matter what. For all you know, he’s waxing poetic about eggplant – IT DOES NOT MATTER. IT WILL SOUND AMAZING. Everyone wins!
If you’re not convinced that Israeli guys are worth a chance, no worries – that just leaves more for the rest of us!