Dear Tamar,

I feel like I’ve written a great profile, uploaded lots of photos and answered most of the questions. I receive a lot of emails and flirts but not from the type of men I’m necessarily interested in. Do you have any profile tips for me to help attract more prospects? My biggest issue has been men who don’t want a woman with a kid – even though I’m very upfront about being a mom! It makes no sense!



Hi Lara,

Welcome to the new JDate! Because of the move, there are a few changes you will need to make, like centering your main profile photo (most people will have to make that adjustment) otherwise all we can see is your great smile! Aside from that, your profile name is perfect; it has your city’s acronym and an adjective that describes you. So let’s dive into the rest of your profile.

You have seven photos, which is a good amount. But since your looks are actually consistent (not everyone can make that claim), I suggest getting rid of two that aren’t necessary. The fourth photo where you’re posing can be deleted because you have a few after it that show you standing more naturally with friends. Speaking of which, the second-to-last photo where you have to note which redhead you are is overexposed, so that’s another you can delete since you have plenty of other great ones!

Intro (About Me) And Other Questions
Great opening paragraph! Perhaps pare down the adjectives (really, super, wonderful, fabulous) and the word “love.” Swap them out for more meaningful words when possible, otherwise it can read as inauthentic when I know you probably mean to sound passionate and upbeat.

I was once a single mom dating and I know how important it is to let people know that you have a child so that they understand your priorities. That said, you mention your son four different times and I think it’s overkill. Delete the mention from “My Life and Ambitions” and “Things I Could Never Live Without” since you also wrote family in both of those answers.

My Ideal Match
You have an 11-year age range, which is good. For what you’re looking for, I like that you selected marriage/marriage with children because you’re being true to what you want and not compromising that based on what might “scare” men away (the right man won’t be scared away). You selected multiple options in other categories, but if you’re having a difficult time with your results, I suggest broadening those selections. For example, you can add Bachelor’s Degree rather than starting with Master’s for education level and add Traditional and Reconstructionist to your religious preferences.

Overall, I think you’re really close to a great profile and just need to do some tweaking to make it stand out! Add in a quote (another new JDate feature) and make sure you’re using the “Secret Admirer” feature since it’s a totally pressure-free way to let someone know there’s mutual interest. Good luck and here’s to more meaningful matches!

  1. Dear Tamar
    I am a 69 year old widow and I am not even getting a flirt. Frankly I am so depressed about this entire dating thing I wish I could join my late husband. I am not a dog but unfortunately a drunk driver left me with only one leg and a bad back so I am in a wheelchair and a widow. It has been many years that I have been alone and I am very out of practice. I guess I need help They gave me a number which I hate but any help you could provide I would be extremely grateful for as I do not want to end my life alone with a dog as my only companion.

  2. G-D bless you! Hang in there. The right gentleman will come along. It’s hard. I have been on and off the site for some time. Even I rarely get a flirt or a email. You are a wonderful, deserving, lovely woman. My best, Allie.

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