We all have mental checklists of expectations for new prospects, which can sabotage a date when they aren’t met. Some of these expectations include:
- Calling to confirm the day of or day before
- Making reservations/being easy-going about planning options
- Arriving on time
- Looking as though you put effort into your appearance
- Asking questions/listening to answers/participating in conversation
- Showing consideration while ordering
- And so on…
As the lead-in to the date and actual date progress we tend to tally when a prospect does or does not achieve these benchmarks, and then begin judging the prospects based on these expectations… effectually taking us out of the date. When you do this, you’re not present in the date or giving a prospect a fair chance.
Try to appreciate each date for what it is and enjoy your time. It’s also difficult not to compare one date to another, especially when you’ve been on some amazing dates that may have set a high benchmark, but each date needs to be treated as a unique entity. After all, there’s a reason you’re still dating and not in a relationship with the prospects that set those benchmarks!