By definition, a “chameleon dater” is one who tends to pick up all the same interests, hobbies and passions as their significant other. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily, as long as it’s not taken to the extreme.
Not sure if this describes you or someone you’ve dated? Check out these examples that will help you to recognize the signs of a chameleon dater.
The Music Lover
Your significant other loves jazz music and I mean LOVES it. Prior to dating this person, you had never listened to even an iota of jazz. However, now that you’re dating and “falling in love” with this person, jazz has become your new favorite. You listen to it in the shower, getting ready in the morning, while working out and every other place you listen to music.
Now, it’s totally okay to start enjoying similar music, but don’t become obsessive and stop listening to what you like just because your significant other doesn’t enjoy it. It’s nice to give their musical genre of choice a chance, but don’t go overboard.
The Sports Fan
You are a die-hard Yankees fan for life; prior to your relationship, your boyfriend thought the Yankees were a band. But now he knows every player’s name, position and favorite food. Yikes!
Similar to the music example, it’s perfectly normal to start becoming interested in your girlfriend or boyfriend’s love for sports. And while it’s nice to be able to enjoy games together, there’s no need to take it this far.
The Political Pundit
You love reading fashion magazines and your man loves reading political magazines. You don’t give a sh*t about politics, yet you cancel your subscription to all your beloved fashion magazines and start to only read political ones because that’s what your man likes.
This is a bad sign. You shouldn’t stop loving fashion just because your significant other isn’t into it. It’s attractive to a person when you stay true to yourself and your passions. It’s not a bad idea to give politics a shot (in general), but again, don’t take it too far.
The Mama Drama
Your significant other has a terrible relationship with his mother. For whatever the reason is, they don’t get along and have a rocky relationship. You start to not speak to your mom as much (even though you used to speak all the time) just because of how your significant other is with their mom.
This is an especially troubling “chameleon” situation. Starting to listen to similar music is one thing, but this is another. A new romantic relationship should not have a negative effect on the other relationships in your life.
Bottom line, you should always stay true to yourself, who you are, your passions and your likes and dislikes. It doesn’t hurt to be a little bit of a chameleon in your relationships at times; it’s great to widen your horizons and try new things. But at the end of the day, you should be with someone who likes you for you and not because you’re turning into their clone.