Did you finally meet a great match? Mazel tov! Meeting a good guy can feel as difficult as scaling Mount Everest or taking the MCAT. Now that you’ve met someone who has decided to take a chance and commit to you, it’s time to squash any bad habits you might pull out in order to help this new relationship thrive. Here are five things to never say to your new Jewish boyfriend if you want him to stick around and avoid becoming an ex-boyfriend.
1. “I’m Fat.”
Guys hate this. Even if you are on the thick side or need to lose weight to be healthy, hearing you degrade yourself is not sexy – at all. If your boyfriend is committed to you, there’s a 99.9% chance he finds you incredibly sexy and perfect. Putting yourself down is negative and, if you do this, it will bring him down as well and ruin the relationship’s chance of success.
I get that this is a hard habit to break. I have heard almost every single woman I know (and that’s a lot of people) complain about her body. It didn’t matter if the woman was as skinny as a toothpick; many women simply fall into a pattern of pointing out their perceived flaws. Unfortunately, this habit is deadly for a relationship.
If you are unhappy with your body, consider if it’s something you need to work on for your own happiness and health. Those who have a really hard time seeing themselves in a positive light should talk to a professional to build self-esteem.
2. “Are You Going Out With Your Friends Again?”
Being clingy isn’t cute. If your new guy always ditches you for his friends, then you need to ditch him. But if he wants to see his friends sometimes, let him. In fact, you should be doing the same thing! Having a separate identity from your partner is a great way for two stable individuals to build a solid relationship.
3. “My Ex Always Did This.”
The past lingers on in our hearts more often than not, but that doesn’t mean you always need to bring it up when it comes to mind. Your new man doesn’t need to be compared to your old men. You have to heal from those past wounds in order to be open for someone else.
While a new partner should want to learn about you, he doesn’t necessarily want a total blow-by-blow of your dating past. Honestly, do you want to know every single thing about his dating past, too? Probably not.
4. “You Won’t Believe What Susan Did.”
You should share your life and experiences with your new man, and if you have some friend drama or girl fights, he should be there to listen and support you.
However, he does not need or really care to hear verbal diarrhea about every single female catfight you run into. It’s a balance. If you want to gossip or rehash a heated confrontation, consider calling up a girlfriend who would love to hear all the juicy details.
5. “Here’s Everything I Did Wrong From Birth Until Now.”
When you’re with a new boyfriend, reveal some personal details slowly. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t trust someone right off the bat; instead, you should select how and what you reveal about your life and hardships. He doesn’t need to know everything about your past tragedies. Skeletons can stay in the closet sometimes without having to be revealed. Who you are now is what is most crucial. It’s fine to share life lessons you have experienced, but share things over time rather than all at once. Remember, ladies: he’s not your therapist.
It’s easy to be blind with infatuation when you first start dating a new guy, but don’t let your excitement cloud your judgment. When it comes to your new Jewish boyfriend, follow these rules to increase the chances of building a solid relationship together.
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