“The Bachelor” television series is basically a social experiment that has managed to survive for 14 years. Every season there are contestants on “The Bachelor” who fill a role. Sometimes they earned that role by acting a certain way and sometimes the producers edit them that way. But the reason this happens is because that is kind of how life is: everyone either chooses a role or people judge them into a role. That said, there are some roles that you do and don’t want to be placed into when you’re actively dating; these examples from the recent season of “The Bachelor” provide some simple guidelines for dating behavior.
1. Don’t Act Desperate Like Olivia
Olivia was the girl who called out the other girls for kissing their mutual “boyfriend;” this is on a show she signed up for where she competed with 24 other women for the love and attention of one man. She’s the one who constantly jumped on Bachelor Ben for his time every chance she got even if it meant pissing off the other women. She’s also the one who took every little movement from Ben as a sign that he was into her.
Don’t be this girl. Don’t throw yourself all over your date and become too blindsided by your obsession to read his signals. It’s perfectly acceptable to be clear about how you’re feeling, but you don’t need to shove it down anyone’s throat.
2. Don’t Seem Cuckoo Like Lace
Oh, Lace. Lace was “that” girl, the one who got drunk on the first night – but only after kissing Bachelor Ben during her limo entrance right after introducing herself. Lace was the girl that was involved in all the drama and the girl who proclaims that she’s “not crazy” (which more often than not means she likely is).
Don’t be that girl who gets drunk on a date and don’t force a kiss on your date, either! If you always seem to find yourself involved in drama, consider the fact that you’re likely causing or feeding into that drama with your actions.
3. Don’t Be A Perfect Princess Like Caila
It may not be a coincidence that Disney owns ABC (which airs “The Bachelor”) because Caila would fit right in as one of their princesses – either that or as Miss America. This girl was always perfectly done up, every strand of hair in place, always chipper and smiling. Needless to say, it came across as fake and impersonal.
Don’t be that girl who has to be “on” all the time. It’s not possible to be and you shouldn’t pretend to be perfect. Your date wants to get to know you, not who you think he wants you to be.
4. Don’t Talk About How Complicated You Are Too Soon Like Jubilee
Jubilee is the girl who shared her tragic story too soon. Jubilee is an orphan and a war veteran. She has lived more life than most people you know put together. Jubilee is a survivor and is extraordinarily interesting but considers herself to be “complicated” and “difficult to love.”
Don’t be that girl who brings up your “baggage” too early and once you do, don’t discuss it too often or at length.
5. Do Keep It Real Like JoJo
JoJo is the contestant who endeared herself to Ben, the other girls and the viewers. She was sweet but had an edge. She could be funny, but also has brothers who were super intimidating. She has a jealous ex-boyfriend and some insecurities but she opened up about these things slowly.
It’s no surprise that JoJo was chosen to be the next Bachelorette. Why? Because she wasn’t fake. She has issues just like everyone does but she didn’t lead with them. She was balanced and, well, normal. Be normal. Be balanced. And most importantly, be real.