Everyone brings “stuff” into a relationship, but in this case, I’m talking about material items and not emotional baggage. The things people accumulate may have meaning, but they can also contribute to a lifestyle that others might judge harshly.
Where The Money Goes
A woman wants to stay on trend, but is she doing so by purchasing the newest knock-off pieces from the mass retail stores, or is she buying the items you see on the runway from top designers? When a trend ends, has she spent $200 or $2,000 trying to be stylish on clothes that are no longer on trend? Even if she has the money to support this lifestyle, do you agree with using it for this purpose?
A man pulls up in a flashy car to take you on a date. Do you see someone who wants attention and enjoys knowing people are impressed? Or do you see someone who appears hardworking, driven and successful?
What about someone who says they are a vegetarian because they love animals too much to eat them, but wears leather? Would you respect them more if they only wore faux leather? Or would taking it that far be a deal breaker because you think it’s too extreme?
When you date someone, you’ll naturally pay attention to the things they spend their money on. This isn’t necessarily shallow; instead, it’s a way to assess whether your lifestyles are compatible. Wealth (or the lack of it) can be a touchy subject, but it’s an important one to broach if you’re looking for a serious partner.
Taking The Long View
When you meet someone and check out their style, it can lead to having important conversations about who they are, what they stand for and what money means to them. You may believe that as a single person, people can do with their money what they want. But if you were to become a married couple and the money is put in a joint account, will you still agree?
Sometimes, the conversation is actually more about values than it is about money. It could lead to discussions about personal beliefs such as vegan/vegetarianism, or not buying from companies that manufacture in countries whose government funds terrorism or labor laws you don’t wish to support, or aligning with a certain political party based on your earning power and tax bracket. In addition, talking about money can lead a couple to discuss their past with a fresh perspective. Did your significant other grow up rich or poor, and how has that affected their lifestyle as an adult?
First impressions are typically affected by our “stuff,” and how we spend money can be a big factor in compatibility. It’s important to consider these issues when you’re looking for a match. So, what does your “stuff” say about you?
You may also be interested in First Date Conversation Tips For Connecting With Your Match