Can’t stand to hear “Why haven’t you met someone yet?” one more time? While you love your mother, your aunt, your Bubbe and the countless relatives who ask this question, there’s no denying that it can become quite irritating over time.

If you’re sick of the standard dating inquiries but don’t want to do permanent damage to your family relationships, it’s best to adopt a good sense of humor about the situation. A funny response lightens the mood, gets their mind off your marriage potential and moves the conversation onto other topics. Here are some of the best funny comebacks for the many queries you’re sure to get at the next family get-together:

  1. “I’ve been dating a ton … but they keep dumping me because I’m so out of their league.”
  2. “I know I’m single, but did you hear that Mark Weisberg left his girlfriend to date his THERAPIST? Let’s talk about that all night.”
  3. “I’m on three dating sites and four swiping apps, so if you want me to meet someone, it’s time you start pulling your weight. I expect six set ups a month between now and Pesach. Go.”
  4. “Actually I DO have a new boyfriend. He’s an unemployed, Republican rapper who thinks global warming is a conspiracy. He can’t wait to meet you guys!”
  5. “If you punch me in the face, we can go pick up some doctors at the hospital!”
  6. “Did you see today’s news about Israel?! I’ve decided to remain celibate until they get their act together.”
  7. “I would love to chat, but I have an incurable disease called ‘It’s None of Your Business.'”
  8. “I have a boyfriend, but he’s famous so he doesn’t like me to talk about him … “
  9. “….Okay yes, it’s Jake Gyllenhaal. But don’t tell Bubbe, because she’ll literally die.”
  10. “Sorry, gotta run! I have explosive diarrhea. K, love you bye.”

Got any other clever responses for prying relatives? Let us know – we’re always looking for fun ways to deal with this single person’s dilemma!

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