Let me paint the picture. Your friend set you up with this seemingly awesome guy. She only has good things to say about him, and she really thinks you guys will hit it off. You haven’t been this excited about a date in a long time.
So, you go … and it’s just meh. It’s not the worst date you’ve ever been on in your life, but it’s certainly not up there at the top. He’s a nice guy, but you just aren’t sure. Something seemed a bit off with your connection. You get home, call your friend, tell her it was a bust, then fall asleep watching another re-run of “Desperate Housewives.” He calls you the next day to ask you out on a second date, and you don’t really want to say yes. It seems easier just to say no then to go through another slightly awkward date, right?
But what if I told you to go on that second date? Would you think I was off my rocker? Not so fast …
Nerves Are A Real Thing
Often, when you go into a date, you’re nervous or you’re overthinking things. You may even be putting too much pressure on the situation inadvertently. Plain and simple, it can make you need multiple rounds of dirty martinis to even feel comfortable on a first date, making it difficult to focus on whether there’s chemistry.
A second date is simply more relaxing. The initial “Hi how are you? Where are you from? What do you do?” first date questions are over with, and you both can dig a little deeper into getting to know each other. More than likely, both parties will feel significantly more at ease on a second date, and that in itself might be reason enough to go. Maybe you weren’t showing who you really are (and same for the other person) on date number one due to the nerves; giving it another shot will help you find out.
Trust The Mutual Friend
If you’re being set up with someone, and the person setting you up is someone you really trust and respect, it might come as a surprise that you didn’t click with the person on your date. There obviously is a reason why this mutual friend wants to set you up and why they think you’ll hit it off. Trust them.
Sure, maybe you and this person are simply not well-suited for each other, but give it another go to be certain. You never want to look back and wonder “what if.”
Look At The Similarities
Now, let’s say you met this person online, so there was no mutual friend involved at all. You might think that there’s no point in going on a second date if you weren’t feeling any sparks on the first one.
However, think about why you guys initially connected online. Was it because you shared similar interests? Was it because your initial emails back and forth were funny, endearing, enticing or thought-provoking? Try to bring that out on the date. Remember, first dates tend to be full of small talk and such, so maybe the second date is what you need.
I’m not saying every first date requires a second date, but if you’re even remotely on the fence or think this other person has at least some of the qualities you’re looking for, it can’t hurt to try one more time. No need to go a third time if you really aren’t feeling it. When it all comes down to it, it’s pretty hard to figure out very much about someone during one date lasting maybe a few hours at most. Unless you know for sure this person isn’t going to be a good match for you, give it another go.
You may also be interested in Best & Worst First Date Ideas: Tips For Avoiding A Date Disaster