If you are divorced, you know the stresses (and also the joys) of being free from a previous marriage. But life is infinitely different after divorce in so many ways. In order to make a fresh start, it’s important to take steps to view the world a bit differently. Make your New Year a fantastic one by setting these resolutions for 2017. Your life and sanity will thank you for it.
1. Start Budgeting Seriously
Divorce can kill your finances, and getting back on your feet can take years. Keep an old-school budget using Excel or, if you like to be fancy, download an app like Mint. Start tracking all your expenses and monitoring exactly where your money goes.
When you see the hard numbers each month of what was spent versus what was earned, it can help you decide how you’re going to spend your money, and where you’re losing precious and unnecessary dollars.
2. Break Old Dating Habits
The hardest part about divorce besides money is dating again. Unfortunately, very few people find dating to be enjoyable. If you find that you’re spinning your wheels out in the dating world, you need to consider what bad dating habits you might need to break, like:
- Are your criteria too stringent or too loose? Rethink what you REALLY want in a partner.
- Are you doing all the chasing? Try letting your potential mates take the lead once in a while.
- Are you spending a lot of time messaging back and forth and not setting up actual dates? Make a plan early on rather than dragging it out online.
- Do you keep meeting the same kind of bad partner (noncommittal, narcissistic, immature, etc.)? Ask yourself why.
3. Develop More Hobbies
There is no greater investment than the one you make in yourself. When was the last time you did something you really enjoyed? Have you been putting off trying out a new hobby or investing more time in an old one? Why? Now is the time to start enjoying yourself a little more.
4. Let Go Of Marriage Regrets
If you’re feeling any regret over your marriage or divorce, let it go. It’s not going to make anything easier for you to hold onto that regret. Sitting and wishing you hadn’t gotten married or hadn’t gotten divorced isn’t going to reverse anything.
Let it go!
5. Refresh Your Online Dating Profile
Are you spewing desperation or bitterness all over your online profile? It’s one thing to state you’re divorced, and quite another to have a profile that is seething with a sad story, teeming with anger over a former partner, or claiming how much he or she hates drama.
Note: anyone who goes online and makes a point of noting he or she doesn’t like drama is someone who has seen a lot of drama. Exude positivity this year instead of bitterness or negativity, and make sure that new positive outlook extends to your online dating profile.
6. Stop Pressuring Yourself To Meet The One
After a marriage has failed, it’s normal to wonder if marriage is ever in the cards for you again. But for some people who have divorced, this question takes on a huge pressure to find a new relationship and prove you can make it work this time. The loneliness and feeling of failure can be all-consuming.
Stop worry about meeting “the one” and instead, approach dating as an experience. Let go of that pressure on yourself and have some fun already!
Think of the New Year as the perfect time to get a fresh start. Use these steps to make resolutions that will improve your life in 2017.
You may also be interested in Recently Divorced? How Online Dating Helps You Get Your Chutzpah Back
Since the D I’ve gone for the under 25s, nothing ever serious, some so young I’m embarrassed. I’m 36, and in 2017 I’m going to switch to online dating to find someone special to start a family. Wish me luck!