The first date went amazing and ended with a lovely kiss. Not too short, not too long, but plenty of chemistry that left you both wanting more.
The second date was just as awesome and was filled with flirting, affectionate touches and little kisses throughout the night. It ended with a full-on make-out session and you felt a tingle in your toes.
Third Date Stereotypes
The third date is looming. You can’t wait to see your date again, but your friends are raising their eyebrows and giving you little smirks about what a third date means. Suddenly, you start feeling all this pressure … are you supposed to be having sex on this date? It sounds totally ridiculous when you actually read the words, right? Just because you had two great dates and kissed (a lot), now you’re obligated to put out because of some silly and archaic “third date sex rule?” Come on people!
You’ve spent a grand total of what, six hours together? And now you’re supposed to do the deed? Why the rush? But then, the other side of the coin is if your date doesn’t make the move to get you in bed, you begin thinking about what is wrong with them … or with you. There is this unspoken notion that having sex on the first or second date somehow isn’t acceptable and means you’re too easy. Why does that suddenly change once the third date rolls around?
Making A Choice
First and foremost, remember that it’s your choice whether sex happens on the third date. You are in no way obligated to live up to some silly expectation just because of the number of dates you’ve been on. However, you can also choose to have sex whenever it feels right for you, which may just be the third date. In either case, there are some possible scenarios that might come up.
If your date puts pressure on you to fulfill your third date sex “obligations,” then you have quickly been given the answer of whether or not you want to continue on with this person. Thanking them for their time and wishing them luck is a painless way to get out of that situation and move on. Cut your losses early. They have done you a favor by thinking that you owe them anything just because you kissed two dates in a row (and even if you did a lot more than that). You don’t owe them an explanation just as you don’t owe them any sexual favors. You don’t need to give a reason for saying no just as you don’t need to give a reason for saying yes. Any date who makes you feel pressured that way is not someone you want to be spending any more time with. Luckily, it’s a pretty clear red flag for many people.
Waiting to have sex is worth the wait. Believe me; I made my partner wait a month, and we were seeing each other daily. So, it was nearly 30 dates before he got some. The intensity was so much better, we knew each other and trusted each other, and of course, the anticipation of finally (finally!) doing it bonded us more than it would have had we done it sooner.
That doesn’t mean that having sex earlier is a bad thing. If you’re all for it and so is your date, that’s great! Some couples say that having sex early on enabled them to move forward together and focus on getting to know each other even more without the sexual tension hanging over them.
There is no right or wrong answer, just the answer that is right for you. And it’s okay if that answer is different with each person you date. Let’s ignore the third date rule; it’s time to let it rest in the archives of Cosmo and GQ issues and “Sex and the City” episodes where it belongs.
You may also be interested in 7 New Year’s Resolutions For Your Sex Life