Are you a traditional guy who believes that asking a woman’s Jewish father for her hand in marriage is the right way to start a good marriage? As much as it may be an old tradition, there are still many men out there who believe that asking the father for his daughter’s hand is a great way to show her family respect.
I have never had to ask for someone’s hand and never will, but I am sure it’s a nerve-wracking event unless you know right off the bat that “Dad” already likes you. No matter what the situation, if you’re a man about to approach a Jewish father to get his blessing, you’re already a classy guy in my book and, most likely, in your future father-in-law’s book as well. But if you want some pointers on how to make it go smoothly, try one of these scenarios.
1. Plan A Guy’s Date With Dad
Make it a memorable day by planning a guy’s date with your future father-in-law. Take him to do one of his favorite hobbies, whether it’s golfing, fishing or checking out a car show. Cap off the day with a great meal at one of his favorite restaurants. Making a point to spend some quality time together is a great way to kick-off a good relationship between future in-laws. Plus, it will be easier to ask permission while you two are enjoying good food and fun times!
2. Take Him Out To The Ball Game
If Dad is a sports fanatic, pick up tickets to see his favorite team compete. Be sure to treat him (pay for the seat, snacks and drinks) and, if you’re feeling bold, tell him ahead of time that you want to talk to him about something important. If you’re terrified, wait until you get the guts to ask … perhaps mid-pitch?
3. Ask How He Popped The Question
If a full day out with Dad seems a bit intimidating, try just engaging him in a more casual conversation sometime. Grab a few moments alone with him and ask how he knew his wife was the one. How did he pop the question? Tell him that, quite frankly, you’re looking for some tips for when you ask his daughter to be your wife. And oh, hey … do you have his blessing?
4. Send A Heartfelt Letter
If you don’t see her father very often and won’t have the chance to try the tactics above, consider sending a letter. Write Dad a heartfelt note telling him all the wonderful things you love about his daughter and why you hope he’ll permit you to ask her for her hand in marriage.
5. Make It A Family Affair
A modern twist on this tradition is to ask Mom, too. Invite both of her parents out to dinner. When you get them together, ask them to share their wisdom about marriage. Listen to what they have to say, then share what you think makes you and their daughter a great pair. Ask if they feel the same and if they wouldn’t mind if you asked her to marry you.
Will you get Dad’s permission? That depends on a lot of factors, but asking for his blessing in a classy and respectful way is sure to increase your chances.
You may also be interested in 6 Unique Proposal Ideas For Popping The Question To Your Jewish Bride