JDate is responsible for more Jewish marriages than all other dating sites combined! But we’ve got more than just statistics to back it up. In our “Success Stories” feature, you’ll meet real couples who found love online.
Mozelle & David
After two false starts, where we had long and wonderful conversations but decided that I was too religious for him and he had too many young kids for me, we decided to meet. As I waited for David in the restaurant, I was wondering why my date was late and then began focusing on how to meet the cute guy waiting outside the restaurant! Turns out, my date was the cute guy waiting outside the restaurant – surprise, he looked better than his picture! Turns out, he thought I was late!
As first dates go, ours was the typical “interview” which allowed us to get down to basics. The first thing David said was, “Forgive me, I’m dense, I didn’t realize when you said you would come to the city if you had a reason, that that meant I should ask you out!” That endeared him to me immediately. Ours was a bumpy road to forever as we navigated our vastly different communication styles – passive aggressive boor (him) and talk about every feeling ad nauseam in the name of connection marital therapist (me). We’ve each learned to laugh at ourselves and have vowed to “work on that.”
We excitedly prepared to be married the week before Pesach, planning the slightly hectic date so that his daughter studying in Israel could be part of the festivities. And then, three weeks before the wedding, David’s father passed away at the age of 92. Although David and his siblings were saddened by their loss, in their pragmatic way they understood that their Dad had lived a long, full life and was in fact ready to move on. (When asked how he was feeling, he would respond, “Not bad for a guy on his way out.”) During the shiva, David and I learned that we would have to postpone the wedding because he would still be within the 30 day period of mourning when no celebrations are permitted. It took us the seven days to adjust to the change of plans. I, the planner who had ordered our grace after meal cards way back in January, looked at them now with the date March 17th mocking me. If ever G-d was laughing at man’s plans, it was then.
Finding a new wedding date became as complicated as a military maneuver. Because the 30 days weren’t over until the middle of Passover, we were gong to have to contend with the restrictions of the Omer, the 49 days we count between Passover and Shavuot, which remind us that the redemption from slavery was not complete until we received the Torah and became a nation serving G-d. This is also a time of partial national mourning in memory of the plague of Rabbi Akiva, during which weddings, parties and dinners with dancing are not permitted. There are different customs as to what part of the 49 days are subject to these rules. Sephardic Jews, like me, observe the mourning period from the second day of Passover until Lag B’omer, the 33rd day of the counting, while Ashkenazim, like David, observe the mourning period from Rosh Hodesh, the beginning of the new month, until Shavuot. If you are already confused, the bottom line is that this translated into our having to wait an extra seven weeks to get married! All our rabbis were so wonderfully understanding and helped us to find the proper halachic time to get married. After many discussions with the rabbis, assuaging family members concerns, and consultations with the caterer, photographer, DJ and florist, on April 7, 2013 David and I had the most beautiful wedding at my home surrounded by family and friends joyously celebrating our marriage.
David and I have almost 50 years of marital experience between us, both of us divorcing after long-term marriages, and know exactly what not to do. We’ve also learned a great deal about ourselves which we will use wisely in our relationship. Although, after two years of marriage, we still feel like young, infatuated lovers, the love we have for each other is a precious kind of grown-up love which keeps us committed to the hard work that marriage requires. Our shared interests, intellectual connection and love for our own and each other’s family will give us many years of togetherness and bliss.
Thank you JDate for helping us find each other. Although we are firm believers that G-d runs this world, JDate is the conduit through which we found our second chance. To all JDaters, don’t despair. Identify your personal deal breakers, then keep an open mind and make your list of requirements a short one. David and I might have missed out on each other had we stuck to our original biases and perceptions of each other. But as I said, G-d runs this world and we were meant to be!
Did you find love online? Submit your story to share how you met your soulmate on JDate.