Online dating involves a lot of trial and error. It’s learning what to ask, what to say, how soon to meet, where to meet … yeah, it’s an art. Don’t let anyone who met his or her partner the old-fashioned way tell you any different!
However, it’s not rocket science either. Truly, just being yourself is what counts because the right person will love all the distinct parts of you, even the weird or not so-great ones! One online dating mistake is not the end of the world. We have all been there and done that. The point of mistakes is to learn from them and grow. Take that mistake and move forward in a positive direction.
Let’s consider some of the most common online dating mistakes:
- Revealing too much baggage up front
- Having a negative profile that screams drama
- Coming off too cold on a date
- Coming on too strong
- Canceling too often
- Pushing for the second date too aggressively
- Being too touchy-feely on a first date
- Speaking negatively about an ex
- Bringing up touchy topics too quickly
I know it seems like a lot, but you truly can bounce back from any of these little slip-ups when you use the following tips.
We all make mistakes. Accept that you didn’t make the right choice, but that it’s okay. There are plenty of fish in this sea. That one date isn’t the late date you’ll go on, I promise you that! Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just accept that it happened, and keep chugging on.
What good is a mistake if you can’t learn from it? Try to understand why you did what you did.
For example, if you revealed too much baggage up front, were you just nervous? Are you not quite ready to date and still haven’t gotten over your issues? Did you feel as if you needed to tell the person?
Many online dating mistakes spring from three main reasons:
- Issues that you personally need to resolve
- Miscommunication from the other party
Try to garner the lesson from this mistake so you don’t repeat it!
Consider The Timing
Now you need to take a moment to reflect. Was this a mistake born of nerves, miscommunication or poor fit between you and your date? If you said yes, get back out there, Tiger! Just dust yourself off and step up to the plate again.
If, however, you think this mistake was born from unresolved issues you’re struggling with, consider taking a temporary break from dating to address these issues.
Be Your Own Cheerleader
Okay, you’ve accepted the mistake, you understand why it happened, and you’re either ready to dive back in or take a breather. So, what’s next?
It’s time for a little cheerleading … sans the uniform and pom-poms, of course. Pick a mantra to tell yourself every day. Boost yourself up as if you’re not talking to yourself, but your best friend or a family member.
My mantra is “I deserve love now, and not later.” Pick something that you can tell yourself each day as a reminder of why you’re such an amazing catch. You must be your own cheerleader. You must believe in yourself and that love exists, otherwise, why bother? You will find the right person. The question isn’t “If?” it’s just “When?”